20 Things I Learnt Planning My Wedding

 

I hope you enjoyed Reflections.

It's been a pleasure to take you on the journey that was our wedding.

Planning our wedding was one of the most challenging but growing experiences I have ever been through. I quickly learned that whilst your wedding is about you, the day is not. It is shared by so many people who have their own expectations of how they think things should be and while it can be incredibly frustrating, you just learn to accept it. Despite the frustrations, I learnt a lot and would like to share 20 of those things with you.

In no particular order...

1. It's all about the baby family. This is your first project together, working as a team. You will have to make decisions that are a reflection of you and are based on your values and opinions. Not your mother's or your fathers. You have to be courageous and make choices for your family, your new family. It’s not about taking sides but understanding the importance of your upcoming union together.

2. Delegate, Delegate, Delegate. Don’t be a control freak {like moi} and let people help you!

3. Don't break the bank. Negotiate, call in favours. Forgo certain things that you don't deem necessary.

4. Trust your instincts. You know yourselves better than anyone. Not Cosmo Bride or Martha Stewart Weddings. If it don't feel right, leave it out.

5. Communicate. With yourselves, with your parents, with your vendors. So important.

6. Make sure you have a honeymoon. Even if it is a few days locked up in a hotel away from it all, you will need that time together. You deserve that time together. {More on that in a future post!}

7. Organise your thank you cards before hand. We still have not sent ours and I feel B-A-D! {Edit – Following this post on APW, they have now been ordered and will be sent out very soon!}

8. Don't kill yourself trying to be something your not. Don't like flowers? Don't have them. Don't want your bridesmaids in matching outfits, let them reflect their own style. You make the rules.

9 Stay off the biscuits. You want your dress to fit, right? {I'm really talking to myself there}. 20 mins on a cross trainer is the equivalent of one kit-kat stick. So. Not. Worth. It.

10. Don't forget your other family. Embrace your in-laws. Make efforts to build a relationship with them, especially your mother in law.

11. Put things in writing. Having evidence is always good {especially when dealing with vendors}.

12. Surround yourself with the right people. Positive, prayerful and kind people. Stay away from the haters. In fact don't even listen to them or let them into your space.

13. When you've had your 25th argument over seating arrangements or what things to keep/scrap remember it will be over soon. This is the road to marriage, people. Once you say 'I do', you are also saying 'bye, bye' to all the craziness.

14. Order your rings in advance. We did not realise that jewellers do not stock every ring size and had a mad dash the week before the wedding trying to sort out our rings. Funny thinking about it now. Not funny then.

15. Get yourself some counselling. Pre-marital counselling is ace. Not only is it good to talk about things together, but it is necessary in ensuring that you're both on the same page. Your church might do it. An older, wiser couple might do it. But definitely get yourself some because beneath all the glitz and glamour of the wedding, the marriage comes first.

16. Get stuff done when you can. Have a free afternoon one Wednesday, crack open one of your DIY projects. Otherwise you will end up 3 days to your wedding, with a million and one things not started, which you were certain you would have time for, but then life got in the way!

17. Realise that weddings do things to people. Even people you think should care about you and be on your side can let you down in a BIG way. Try not to let it take over your life. Remember the end game. Forgive and move on with your life.

18. People don't and won't notice the detail you do.

19. Remember your spouse. It's their wedding too! Take time out together throughout the craziness to remind each other why you’re doing this!

20. Finally and most importantly, commit everything to God in prayer. That fact that you made it to the altar in one piece is no mean feat. Marriage is God's creation and the devil hates it. He will try and do whatever in his power to stop it happening. Need examples...Mr E and I can give you plenty!!!

When all is said and done, marriage is a gift from God and it is wonderful. While for us, the wedding day is a distant memory, married life gets better every day!

Have a great weekend!