Here are a couple of great worship songs, I’m loving right now…
Great encouragement for the soul and a reminder of God’s greatness in our lives.
Two Lines
So on May 18th our lives changed forever when we got our two lines.
Many women often say that they knew they were pregnant before doing their test, I on the other hand was not one of those women. My body likes to play tricks, so I wanted evidence before I could believe anything. Since getting married we decided that we were going to let God decide when to expand our family and so when it was the right time, it would happen. But for anyone who is trying to conceive, the monthly cycles of waiting and then disappointment when nothing happened, can be quite trying.
Having taken pregnancy tests before which have come back negative I was terrified about getting another negative. You don’t realise how much you want something, until you think you have it and then realise you don’t. {Think Rachel from Friends when Phoebe tricked her into thinking she wasn’t pregnant, when she actually was and she found herself really upset}. There were signs that I could be pregnant but I didn’t want to jinx anything and I told Afam that we should wait at least a week after my period was due, before we take a test and then and only then would I entertain pregnancy thoughts.
Waiting a week would have taken us to Sunday but by Wednesday morning I couldn’t take it anymore and caved and went to Boots and bought a pack of two tests. I was tempted to just do it at work to get it out of the way so that I would know, but we had agreed that we would do pregnancy tests together, so I took the tests home and let Afam know that we had two pregnancy tests available IF we wanted to do a test today.
Wednesday evening we had gone to Life group at church and all through the meeting I was thinking, “we should do a test, I mean I could be pregnant and not even know it, Yeh we should do a test. But I’m scared. What if I’m not pregnant. Let’s wait. No let’s do a test.” So on the way home, I convinced Afam that we should do a test that night.
As we had two tests if it came back negative we could always do another one in the morning.
Let me tell you it was the longest 3 minutes of our lives and when it was time I couldn’t even look. We got up together to go to the bathroom and Afam was in front of me. I had my eyes closed and then I heard ‘You’re pregnant!!’. What! ‘You’re pregnant!!’ he shouted again. I opened my eyes looked at the test and there were two lines.
I burst into tears. We hugged. We prayed and thanked God for this miracle of life. I couldn’t believe it was finally happening.
Did we sleep that night..not really lol! But it didn’t matter!
The following morning I did the second test just to ‘make sure’ and sat and watched how quickly it turned positive. It was quick. Two strong lines in less than a minute! We were having a baby!
*****
The following weekend we went away for a few days to visit some friends and decided to buy a clearblue digital test so that we could see the 'Pregnant’ on the test and how far along we were.
I tell you it’s a lot less stressful taking a pregnancy test when you know it will be positive!
So now the journey begins…
We started recording weekly pregnancy diaries at week 7, so that we can remember and document the experience. If you fancy following the journey in vlog form, check out our channel on Youtube. I’m a bit nervous doing belly shots, but maybe from next week I will post one up here.
This week we enter the last week of the first trimester {where has the time gone!} and thankfully I haven’t been too ill. During the past three months I have dealt mainly with tiredness, nausea and bloating. I haven’t lost my appetite, which is good because I am enjoying this whole ‘eating for two’ thing and my hair and nails are growing like crazy. There have been some weird happenings during the first trimester, mainly weird dreams and smells, but all in all it hasn’t been too bad.
This week is a busy baby week as we meet our midwife on Wednesday for a check up and have our 12 week scan on Thursday.
Looking forward to seeing how Jnr is doing! He better have his house in order, as we’re paying a visit!
Survival Tips for the First Year
The first year of marriage can be one of the most challenging and there are few things we have identified some survival tips to help you through. It’s not a definitive list, but they are things which have and continue to help us.
1. Keep God at the center. of your marriage. Pray together, but also ensure your own personal relationship with God is intact.
2. Communicate about anything and everything. Make time to talk to each about your marriage, what is working, what is not. Talk about your future, your hopes, dreams and desires. Nothing is too insignificant.
3. Build intimacy. This is not just about sex but about oneness and togetherness. It also does not end at the altar but is something that is worked out throughout your marriage. You need to invest the time.
4. Expectations… Don’t be surprised if they are not met. Even the most basic of expectations you might have, may not get met initially and you need to be prepared for that. Discuss with your spouse at the beginning of marriage what expectations you both have about marriage. Agree to compromise or accept things as they are. This is a great video on expectations.
5. Be ready (and expect) to face challenges. Face them together.
6. Conflict will happen, fact. You are two different people, with two viewpoints and perspectives. The key is to listen to each other and learn to resolve it in a way where both sides feel heard. Agree together the way forward.
7. Don’t try and change your spouse. Be the change and most often they will follow. Not always, but most times.
8. It’s not about you. Spend time focusing on your spouse and how you can bless/serve them. Pray for them daily.
9. Protect your new family from outsiders. People mean well, your family may mean well, but when push comes to shove, it’s the two of you who have to live your life together.
10. When the going gets tough, remember why you married each other and the foundation of your love!
Do you have any other tips for surviving the first year?
Image {Source}
Finding our Groove
I think now after one year of marriage, we have found our groove. We know what works and what doesn’t.
I have his favourite meals perfected (well almost all of them – if anyone has any good fish pepper soup recipes – holla at your girl), my housekeeping routine in place and know which bills to pay when. He’s got his things down too.
We’ve mastered the rules, have our routines down and are now just living life. It hasn’t been argument free, but we have got there. We no longer feel like newlyweds but an established married couple and it’s nice.
We went to a wedding last weekend and as we watched the bride and groom, there was this whimsical feeling of wish it was us again, but then I thought, actually no, I’m glad we’re not there again, we have moved on, we’ve evolved.
If I knew then what I know now, would I have done things differently this past year? Maybe, but then it wouldn’t be life and God uses our life experiences to help us grow and mature. Learning to communicate more and become more selfless. Life long lessons, from which you never graduate.
I took a break from the blog because I needed to spend more time with my husband. With work and other pressures it can be so easy to become two ships sailing in the night and so I had to be deliberate in my actions and take a step back.
So thanks for your patience, the last three months off have been great. In that time we reconnected, made a baby (lol!) and rediscovered why we got married.
Yes we found our groove.
p.s. Just found out the blog has been nominated for a Nigerian Blog Award! Thank you to those of you who nominated the blog. Voting has opened and if you feel so inclined, please hop over and vote for us in the Wedding Blog Category.
Celebrating ONE!
Today we celebrate our first wedding anniversary!
365 days of oneness
365 days of growth
365 days of grace
365 days of love
We’ve moved cities, changed jobs, moved house and changed church and while we have had ups and downs, through it all we have had each other.
Marriage is hard work, I won’t lie, but it is also very beautiful. A wonderful partnership ordained by God.
Afam thank you for sharing this journey with me, I love you so much and can’t wait to see what the future holds.
p.s. I’m back to blogging and have LOTS to update you on. HINT: watch the video!
