‘Commitment keeps you safe when you fall out of love’.
So many people call it quits at the slightest sign that the love is gone or they just don’t feel the same way anymore. The sad thing is that this is a very normal stage in every successful relationship.
What is love anyway? Love is a verb, love is a choice.
For those of you here in the UK who watch Neighbours, you will have seen Libby tell Dan last week, that their marriage is over. She just doesn’t feel the same way about him anymore.
Do you think that supposed falling out of love, is enough reason to walk away from a marriage?
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Hi there! I'm sitting here scratching my head, thinking you must've been spying on me this weekend...because this post is on time for me! This is the same questions me and the boo have been pondering...next Month will make 2 years for us, and so many thing have changed, we don't value each other the same way, we've become very familiar with each other so much so that we are doing things out of habit and not with the same authenticity we once had.
ReplyDeleteI only wish there was a little more content to this post, because I know I'm still in love with him, I have just never felt so helpless.
I've never been in a relationship so long, and don't really know where to go from here.
-Tracita
PS- Love the new layout. I like how the pic looks like that of an old-school couple. The times of "through thick-and-thin love".
PPS- I just started a new blog, would love your support Tica Tattleteller: http://www.ticatattle.blogspot.com
U hit the nail right on the head.....Being with my fiance for 11 yrs...phew i can tell love is not a enuff...it takes real commitment.
ReplyDeleteSometimes,i just wanna knock him out...and sometimes,i just wanna swallow him:)
Overall,am never gonna stop loving him!!!!
You guys are so far behind in Neighbours! I want to tell you what is happening now!
ReplyDeleteDrives me crazy how people just think they can quit on things when it gets hard.
Wow.. I think this post should be discussed well by this generation. It reminds of a story I once heard about Billy Graham. A TV presented asked him, "Billy, what would you do, if by tomorrow morning you discover you have fallen out of Love with your wife?"
ReplyDeleteBilly answered, "I will go on my knees and won't leave until I'm back in love with her again" It brings to light that there can't be love without 'Love' Himself. God must be present for love to be whole and complete. Yes, its a decision, a choice and not just a feeling but the aura this generation spells defeats this view alot and that's why people just opt out of love should their be any atom of disappearance of the feeling they used to have.
My Dad often say to me, "Son, every relationship is work. Just like you go to work daily ensuring you do things right so as to remain in the job. You have to work out your relationships with people, most importantly, your love relationship" Since I discovered that, I knew love is beyond a feeling.
May God help us *sigh*
- LDP
Reminds me of my post last week, Must it be called love? Is commitment love was the question I wanted an answer to. The fear is the other party knowing you're not in love with them and how it will affect them pyschologically. The other is "what if you do find someone else you can love?"
ReplyDeleteHmm...tough question...I think love is essential to in every relationship...but everyone has their defintion of love so it's hard to say...but I feel that it takes more then love to make a marriage last
ReplyDeleteThat's right girl, feelings will lie to you! You gotta stay married because you promised that you would stay married.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your thoughts folks, it is a very important subject that should continually be talked about.
ReplyDelete@ Tracey - I've emailed you directly. Thanks for your feedback on the blog, that picture is actually one of my favourites pictures of us, which I played about with in photoshop.
@ Kabiosi - your comment cracks me up, but so true.
@ Mrs T - we are so behind, I was looking online to see where you guys are! Cannot believe that Steph slept with Dan! With friends like that...
@ Le Dynamique Professeur - love the quote from Billy Graham and your dad. Btw have you heard about Benny Hinn? His wife has filed for divorce after 30 years of marriage!!!
Yeah Chichi, I heard about it and it saddened my heart. I couldn't believe a marriage of over 30 years could be hitting the rocks just like that. I think our generation now has a new definition of love different from 'Love'Himself... only God can help us.
ReplyDelete@ Myne - your post is very interesting, because I'm sure that there are a lot of people in that same position, who whilst won't call it traditional love, it is a love of some sort with a life long commitment.
ReplyDelete@ Blowing blessings and Happy Nappy Bride - I agree it takes more than love to sustain a marriage. It's the choice of wanting to stay together, work thru it and honour your vows. 'For better for worse'.
I know this might sound trite, but "LOVE IS ALWAYS ENOUGH". Asking someone to choose between "Commitment" and "Love" is actually not real.; it is like asking someone to choose between God the Father and God the Son for example; if you choose the Father, you invariably would have chosen the Son and if you choose the Son, you would have in so doing also chosen the Father.
ReplyDeleteI am surprised when I hear people say that love is not enough. If indeed what you have is LOVE, it is always more than enough except it is not LOVE. Daily we sing in churches that it was love that kept Jesus on the cross and it is true; some might say, "well that was the crucifixion but we are talking about marriage here" but don't forget that the relationship between Christ and the Church(His Bride) has been used in scripture as a metaphor for marriage also.
Love that is truly love, by definition, also comes with commitment. You can not say that you love someone if you are not committed to that person. Like destiny, love is not some abstract, disembodied force, it is always people, and the choices they make; at times, the choices are easy and at times the choices are tough but it is always a choice - even when we use the phrase "fall in love" it is not because we were helplessly swept off our feet (I know it may seem so, and I have experienced falling in love with all the passion that would outshine a thousand suns) it is only because making the choice to love that person ( because of the compatibility of temperaments and a great congeniality of both our dispositions), was so,so, so, so, so, so, so, very easy that we didn't realize that we were actually making a choice.
There is a need for everyone to reappraise what they mean by LOVE. When LOVE is true, the way it ought to be it is ALWAYS enough. I am not saying that relationship that are based on true love do not have difficulties but that LOVE is enough even in that difficulty. And there abideth three - Faith, Hope and Love and the greatest of these is Love.
@ Eyitemi - great comment. I totally agree!
ReplyDeleteEyitemi hit the nail on the head. You can't love someone and not commit to them.
ReplyDeleteWhen in doubt, go back to the bible1 Corinthians 13 and 1st John 4:7-8
These truly explain in depth the meaning of love.
When the feelings wear off like Billy Graham, let's get on our knees and remain there. Feelings are flippant; they will come and go so when they go, we can pray them back.