Four weddings

Has anyone watched 'Four Weddings' on Living TV? What do you think?

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I watched the Celebrity version yesterday. So much bitching, so much cattiness and so much wasted extravagance - I mean come on, £200k on renewal of vows! I know what I would spend £200k on and it wouldn't be fairies and men on stilts!

As for the show's concept itself, I don't know, it is funny to watch sometimes, particularly when they had the Nigerian couple and all the other brides were there bang on time and the service didn't start for another 1 hour and a half and they were surprised. We just thought that is so typical! But at the same time it really superficial and can bring out some awful personality traits in people? I mean who gives anybody else the right to judge whether your wedding is 'good' or not. It's your special day and like the saying goes 'what anyone else thinks of me, isn't really any of my business'.

It did get me thinking though, apart from the fact that you are privileged to witness the joining of two people before God, what do you think makes a good wedding? 

Choosing your TEAM for the big day

There are so many people involved in bringing together a successful wedding, don't you know! I call them TEAM ACE (ace is our initials - cheesy I know). Each of them has a part to play in making your special day come together, it's really important that you take time to choose your team members properly.

In TEAM ACE we have:

- our church and officiant
- our reception venue
- day of coordinator
- photographer
- videographer
- caterer
- designer and printer
- bridal and grooms wear
- seamstress
- cake maker
- hair and make up
- registry

Anyone who knows me, knows that I research to the end and if I need to find out something, I will be on Google quicker than you can say 'can you find..?'

We started 'planning' our wedding back in September 08 and I refused to buy any bridal magazines until the New Year, because I wanted to see how far I could get with the Internet only, plus it'a cheaper, right! I was amazed at all the things I could find. There were different websites, blogs, e-zines all about weddings, showing inspiration ideas, actual weddings, DIY projects - you name it. Some of my favourite are listed to the right of the post.

I also found that because there are no geographical boundaries online, you can get the opinions and insight from people across the Globe and are not restricted to things that are local. This really helped me when I was looking at traditional Nigerian weddings to get an idea of what to expect.

Alongside all of this, when I got engaged one of my bridesmaids bought me a wedding planning binder, which was a fantastic gift - thanks Em! It arranged all the different things you need to do into sections and allowed you to do your research, make notes and plan for your wedding. I also bought 'The Wedding Book' by Mindy Weiss, which I had seen recommended online. Mindy a world renowned Wedding and Event planner, put all her planning advice and tips down into a wedding book and I found it particularly useful especially around wedding etiquette and traditions.

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Brides to be out there -  in all of this make sure you have a clear idea what you and your fiancé want for your wedding, because it will help you as you make decisions around who to work with and what is or isn't important for your special day.

Over the next couple of weeks we will begin our 'How we chose our...' mini series - so stay tuned. We won't be revealing some vendor details until after the big day, but we will give you insight into how we chose them.

Pride...

Pride makes you value other people's opinions over those that really matter

 

Pride makes you want to keep up with the 'Jones' when clearly there is no need to

 

Pride stops you from telling the ones you love, how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate them

 

Pride stops you from apologising when you are clearly in the wrong

 

I don't want to be proud anymore

 

The 10 Commandments of Marriage

The Ten Commandments of Marriage -- by Ed Young

1. Thou shalt not be a selfish pig. The enemy of any relationship is selfishness. The opposite of selfishness is love. A good description of love: when the welfare and satisfaction of another person comes to means as much to me as my own.

2. Thou shalt cut the apron strings. When a wedding takes place in a church, another hidden ceremony occurs. In it, the groom unconsciously switches over to his bride the qualities and faults of his mother—and hereafter expects to find them in his bride. The bride switches over to the groom the qualities and faults of her dad. The ideal happens when each recognizes the expectations they’ve created, cuts loose from them and comes to know the uniqueness of their own spouse.

3. Thou shalt continually communicate. Unless we are fully known, we cannot be fully loved. And how else do we become known, down to our very core, unless we let our spouse know of our fears, hopes, dreams, anxieties, and insufficiencies. We’re usually afraid to do for fear of rejection. But the risk is worth taking. It’s the only way to be loved the way our heart wants to be loved.

4. Thou shalt make conflict thy ally. Disagreements are not sought. When they occur, they are opportunities to communicate, understand, compromise, and solidify the relationship. The absence of all conflict demonstrates that either the relationship isn’t important enough to struggle for, or that both individuals are too insecure to risk disagreement.

5. Thou shalt avoid the quicksand of debt. Money can become a bone of contention, an instrument of power, an expression of selfishness, and a destroyer of important realities. Prudent spending flows from mutually set priorities and a responsible maturity.


6. Thou shalt flee sexual temptations—online and otherwise. Sexual pleasure is wonderful, but it speaks of spiritual and personal realities far more profound than feeling good. A mature and growing love relationship always includes an element of exclusivity. The language of sex is directed solely to my spouse.

7. Thou shalt forgive your mate 490 times. The 490 number comes from the biblical encouragement to forgive not only seven times, but “seventy times seven.” One of the primary benefits of marriage is to teach us fallible humans how to forgive. Forgiveness is a manifestation of love.

8. Thou shalt keep the home fires burning. Building a good marriage and building a good fire are similar. At first, the paper and kindling make a brilliant blaze. Then the blaze dies down and you wonder if the fire will fizzle out and leave you in the dark. You blow on it and fan it for all you’re worth. Sometimes it smokes and brings tears to your eyes. But if the materials are good and you invest enough time, energy, and interest, the logs catch and the fire goes on and on.

9. Thou shalt begin again and again. Nothing in this world that is worthwhile occurs suddenly. The closeness and love we yearn for doesn’t happen quickly. If we stumble on the way, we must get up and “go for it” again and again.

10. Thou shalt both make peace with change. We stay married by making peace with what can’t be changed. We also stay married by adapting to change, to the changes that—with or without our consent—occur in us, in our spouse, and in our marriage. Spontaneity, creativity, and freshness become interwoven with flexibility, adaptation and acceptance.

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Back to skool!

September is here, which means summer is over and it's time to go back to school/college/university (delete as appropriate).

I love September because for me this is my 'new year', not January. I set my goals, reflect on the past year and focus on the future. I also love the Autumn/Winter season as well, it's my favourite. Woolly jumpers, long coats, knee boots - love it.

Congratulations to all those who are off to University, especially my brothers, whom I am very proud off. One will be studying Medicine at Oxford, UK and the other at Pamona College, CA.

This is a special time of your life enjoy it.

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