A little weekend treat for you all!
Mel and Eugene got married in a beautiful Winter Wonderland wedding on Jan 2 this year. They decided about half way through their 18 months of wedding planning, that they would simply ‘keep it real’. There was not a chair cover, butterfly or birdcage in sight, yet their day was as fun and fresh as they are, filled with laughter, music, family and friends, delicious food, fine wine and topped with festive cheer …what more could you ask for?
Over to Mel…
Looking back, our wedding was somewhat of an extravaganza and truly the perfect way to start 2010! We had 230 very important guests (no fillers!), a sand ceremony using Ghanaian and Sierra Leonean sand, a steel band to welcome guests to Sindlesham Court, pink uplighters, fairy lights, candles EVERYWHERE, hand-made touches, a dancing entrance, a HILARIOUS best man’s speech, a stunning (surprise) dance performance by our groomsman (!), beautiful bridesmaids, one tossing of my garter to the boys (*blush*), one exploding balloon, one tower of Krispy Kremes and this was before the traditional African ‘Gombe’ drums, which accompanied our change of outfit in the evening! Phew… it was somewhat of an extravaganza...
In it's most simple terms though, it was a *celebration* of our *love*...and we truly are in love and it feels fabulous!
Now, I'm no expert only having planned one wedding from start to finish...but I did learn A LOT along the way and it’s only fair to share! Here are my top tips.
The Big Things
Marriage is a celebration of love
Remember that the wedding is a celebration your commitment to one another and of your surrendering your relationship to God. It's no more and no less...you can make the 'event' as simple or as elaborate as your taste and pocket desires. But just remember the point of the day.
It's your day
At the end of the day, this day belongs to you and your Husband to be. It should reflect you as a COUPLE...not just you and not just him. It'd be great to walk into a wedding reception and just 'know' that it was yours and yours together, right?
It's not ONLY your day
Whilst it is 'your' day, remember that other people have invested a lot in you, your partner and in your relationship. Your Mum might have dreamt about this day since you were born, that's five years more than you then! The marriage is essentially the coming together of two families...or depending on your viewpoint, the bride leaving her family to join her husband's family. With that in mind, consider the feelings of others. Choose your battles wisely. Fine, accommodating your great Aunt Joy's sister's half-cousin might cost you an extra meal, chair cover and glass of champagne BUT not inviting her could end up costing you a lot more later...
Of course, I appreciate if every guest brought an extra guest, that would double your guest list and possibly leave you as bankrupt newly-weds! But like I said, use wisdom and choose your battles.
The Marriage is most important - yes really!
Of course the wedding is an important day. Logistically, it's probably the biggest event you've had to organise. However, after the wedding day, there comes a next day and a next day. Spare some thought for the days/months/years/DECADES after the wedding. It is supposed to be for life after all! Think about your marriage and all the great things that will come from it, think about what kind of wife/husband you want to be...what is going to change...? The wedding is the start of your special days together.
Check, check and check again!
I really cannot stress the important of CHECKING that you're legally allowed to get married where you want to. This applies not just to those marrying non-UK/EU partners, but to everyone. Check your parish, check with the home office, check with your relevant high commission, check with a solicitor, check with with your Reverend, darn check with your GP! Just check check check and then check again, because the laws might have changed since you last checked.
Apparently, it's our responsibility to know and abide with every law! Sigh! You can tell I have had personal issues with this, just follow this one piece of advice...check, check and check again!
See: Advice Guide and The Home Office
The Little (but still important) Things
Don't rush decisions
You have plenty of time to plan your wedding...unless you're doing it in 6 weeks…in which case - crack on.
Take time to think about what YOU really want, and not what the latest bridal magazine says you should have this season. Take time to choose your dress, accessories, reception venue...you can always be flexible around these things, especially if it means you make the right choice. At the beginning, sit down with your other half and decide what is IMPORTANT to you both and is non negotiable. That will help you later when coming to decide on details.
Be time-conscious of some decisions
As a contradiction to that last tip, if you find a good photographer, florist, videographer or caterer, just book them. They offer a highly individual service and it's unlikely that another person/company will do the job in exactly the same way. If they're booked on your day, or time, that's it. The good ones go quickly and the next best alternative might leave you disappointed. The situation is different for mass produced items, where there is always an equally good alternative.
Make time to talk to your guests
They made a huge effort to come, possibly bought a new outfit, paid for a train/even plane ride, booked a hotel, maybe even took a day off work...some really nice ones might have gone all the way into town to buy a gift from your gift list! {Yes people actually do that!} The least you can do is say 'hi, thanks for coming'. As we had a buffet, we walked round to our guests' tables to chat with them whilst they were waiting for their table to be called up.
Draw inspiration from the season
We had a winter wedding and adorned the reception with candles, gold twigs and fairy lights. Think fresh florals for spring, pine cones for autumn; fruit for summer or anything that epitomises the season for you.
Don't pay for it if you don't have to
Our church was filled with flowers. We only paid £10 - and that was for the pew ends. The reason - at Christmas time, the church ordered LOADS of flowers. We just used those. Fine they didn't match the colour scheme, BUT they were festive and free! Besides, everyone should have been too busy looking at my dress!
The lesson, don't be afraid to ask, to ask for a discount or negotiate. Vendors do not usually expect you to agree to their first price.
Choose things that suit you
If an empire waist doesn't usually suit you, it probably wont suit you on the wedding day either! Choose a dress/cut that flatters your figure and draws attention to your favourite features. Equally, if you would never be seen dead in pearls...why wear them on your special day. For me, a tiara was just not working. None of them suited me. Over the past year, I've become known for wearing a flower in my hair...so for me 'flowers in hair' was an obvious choice. I picked mine up from New Look for £3 each! Bargain!
This tip also applies to bridesmaids...try to make them look and feel as good as they usually do, or better! They are your closest allies after all!
Think outside of the box
Just because it's in a bridal shop/magazine/fair doesn't mean it's the best. You can find the perfect items in the most unexpected places. See reference to New Look hair flower! I also picked up my bridal shoes from Debenhams. A friend of mine, got a £1500 Pronovias dress for a mere £500. You don't have to buy your dress from a bridal shop! The woman had obviously only worn it once - for a number of hours...after a dry clean...it was perfect again!
Lesson: If you can't afford it...don't even go there!
If you do choose to go there, be prepared for heartbreak and possibly embarrassment when you realise that you really can't afford that oh-so-stunning £4500 Vera Wang dress OR prepare to pay off the credit card after the wedding! Remember none of your guests will know that you tried on! They will just see you and think you look fabulous! Of course choose the dress you love, but if you know you can't afford it...just don't even go there!
Enjoy wedding planning!!!
You'll miss it when the wedding is done! Try making/doing things together that are fun. Not just going to bridal fairs, but perhaps collecting jam jars to place hand-picked flowers in, making your own centrepieces or stationary, or even practising to bake and decorate your own wedding cake! You'll feel a huge sense of achievement on the day and you'll be amazed at what you can do together. We made our own bridal bracelet, necklace, centrepieces, stationary, table plan, and other decorative pieces! We're so pleased we put in the extra hours!
Personalise your day
We incorporated a sand ceremony into our service. My late Father brought sand from Lumley Beach, Sierra Leone and our best man brought sand from Labadi Beach in Ghana. We poured sand into the Unity Bottle, representing that our love, as the grains of sand are individual, yet indivisible.
Steel band surprise…
Krispy Kreme Tower…
Traditional matching Ghanaian attire…
Finally, don’t forget to take some kiss-ass pictures of just the two of you!
What was your highlight of the day?
Seeing the genuine joy and excitement of all our family and friends. Also seeing 18 months worth of planning roll so seamlessly into one magical day was incredibly satisfying!
What is the one thing you would change if you could do it all over again?
Everything was so wonderful, I wouldn't change anything. Every tiny mishap, added to our memory of the day. In hindsight though, I would have had a 'back-up' pair of GHDs, so that I wouldn't have been an hour late when the first pair packed up! This would've given me more time for 'profile' and 'beauty' shots with our photographers. You just can't plan for everything eh!'
Thank you Mel and Eugene for sharing you special day with us. Wishing you many happy and blessed years together.
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The A Team
Church: St Peter's Church, Earley, Reading UK
Reception Venue: Sindlesham Court
Photographer: Rouge Amour
Caterer: Delicate Delights
Cake: Margaret Burridge of Celeb Cakes
Dress: Alfred Angelo 2020
Make Up: Dvora Divine
Traditional Attire: Fabrics courtesy of Vogue Fabrics and tailoring by Mei
If you would like to feature your wedding on From Now Till I do please drop me a line
