A few years ago I went to relationship seminar hosted by Michelle McKinney Hammond. She gave some fantastic advice to those of us waiting for the Mr or Ms Right and it really helped me at the time. I found one of my old notebooks and thought it would be good to share.
1. Be what you want to attract.
What type of person do you want in your life? You want a warm, funny, educated person. Ask yourself: Am I that person? Sometimes the qualities we seek in our future partner are things that we also need to work on ourselves. Often I think of God saying, when you hand him over your great big list of wants, ‘okay so you want all this for you, what have you got to offer?’
2. What do I deserve?
You deserve God’s best. When I was born He said ‘I was a good thing’. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am a priceless jewel who should treasured and look after.
If it looks like a skunk, walks like a skunk and smells like a skunk – it is a skunk. To often we settle for 10% when our 100% is out there waiting for us.
Do not accept: bad behaviour in any shape or form. If he is behaving badly now, what makes you think he will change when you get together?
3. Get busy about life. Meet others who have things in common.
Live life to the fullest. Look at your gifts {usually what people celebrate that you think is nothing} and use them. A little thing can turn into a big thing, if you let God develop it. Know the value of your gift.
Develop your talents and don’t spend time ‘waiting’ around doing nothing, your single years are when you’re most free. You can do what you want, go where you want. Stay busy being purposeful.
‘Occupy until I come’. Luke 19:13.
4. Get into community with people.
God created us to love. Pour yourself out to people/children who need it whether it be your local church, your neighbours or any other group/charity where you can give back. Build a community and get involved.
5. Build platonic relationships with the opposite sex.
Men are great to have as friends. They have a completely different perspective on life and can often offer practical ways to solve problems. Building platonic relationships helps you learn how to relate to them in a healthy way and understand the male psyche. Men are also great to have around when you have some heavy lifting to do!
6. Get your house in order.
This includes:
- your finances: pay off as much debt as you can. No debt? Build up your savings?
- your health: you want to lose those extra 10lbs – go for it, you don’t need a man before you do it.
- career: go for that job, take that extra class; develop yourself.
It’s about having a vision of where you want to go, who you are and where you want to be. Establish the quality of your life now – it sets the standard for when he arrives.
7. Pray and wait joyfully
Enjoy where you are right now. Pray for your mate. Stop asking for him – pray for him. Have an air of expectancy and stay open to the possibilities of change.
Never take the day for granted; have an attitude of gratitude’. I’ve mentioned this before but having a daily journal where you record the things you are thank you can really helpful you stay focus on being thankful rather than ‘woe is me’. Jessica over at From Marriage to Motherhood has written about the exact same thing. Live in the present and stay thankful.
What other tips can you think of for ‘while you are waiting’?
I can remember attending a seminar (PPM) where she was a guest speaker too. Very insightful. At that time she was not married and she talked about these things you listed. Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteI love Michelle Mckinney Hammond!!! I just finished reading her book titled "Secrets of an Irrestible Women", she is awesome!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing...looks like I have some work to do!
I love that book too - very good and practical read!
ReplyDeleteI can't stop loling at "Men are also great to have around when you have some heavy lifting to do!" HAHA
ReplyDelete#1 reminds me of the words of one of my mentors We often pray to God to give us good wives/husbands. We should pray more to be good husbands/wives to who ever God gives us too.
Great Tips Chichi. God bless you :)
- LDP
This one is definitely for me. Thanks Chichi.
ReplyDeleteI love this post... really needed it today as I am rethinking a few things! will retweet it!
ReplyDeleteSpeak the truth and shame the devil... I love this post...its speaks volumes and yet it is so necessary. A lot women and men do not realize that your season of singlesness is a blessing and a period for preparation. Thank you so much for this post!!
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