8 ways to build your new community

Four months ago, I relocated to a new city, which was huge emotionally. I left behind a way of life I had known for 25 years and moved to a city where I felt like a tourist for such a long time. I didn't know where anything was, I didn't know anybody apart from Mr E and one or two old friends plus I had a new job. It was tough!

Today, whilst I can't quite call myself a local, I am pleased to say that things are starting to come together. I've settled into work, got myself into a routine with the daily commute, caught up with some old friends, figured out where my local Tesco is (both 24 hours and Express), and most importantly found myself a new church.

So what has worked for me as I’ve started to build my new community? Here are some of the things I did:

1. Join a church. Seems quite obvious if you’re a Christian but even if you’re not a regular church goer, a local church is a great community to be part of. I find it helps me a lot, when trying to establish a new base. On my very first Sunday, we visited the local Methodist church, where we got to meet some of the locals in the area. Now whilst I wasn't sure at the time whether I would start going to this particular church, I found the members super friendly and they gave me some good advice on where local things were, short cuts to the train station and some history about the village, things I would not necessarily have known about otherwise. They were even kind enough to send a congratulatory wedding card around the date of our wedding, not knowing the wedding had been cancelled and that was really touching. Depending on your denomination you should be able to find a church quite easily using www.findachurch.co.uk and most churches have their own websites so you can find out more about services and mid-week meetings.
2. Re-connect with old friends. It is a small world out there and more often than not you will bump into people you didn’t even know lived in your area. This happened to me and I discovered that a few of my childhood friends now live locally. We took the opportunity to meet up over dinner and this was really good in building a new friendship group locally as not only did we catch up but they also introduced me to other people as well.
3. Transfer old networks. Back in your old community I’m sure there are groups whether social, religious or sporting that you belong to and there is nothing stopping you transferring them to your new place. For example I belong to OFNC who have branches all over the country and I know that in the major towns and cities across the UK, there will always be OFNC members there, who I can connect with. Do a little research, ask your old group, find out whether they have a base where you’re moving to, as that is something you can get involved in straight away.
4. Be prepared to put yourself out there. Back in my old city I was very familiar with the professional networking circuit and was used to seeing familiar faces whenever I went to different events, a network which I had built over 2/3 years. I remember attending a woman's networking event here in Birmingham for the first time, having only been here for three weeks. I didn’t know anyone to go with, so I went on my own, I didn’t know anyone when I got there, so again I was on my own and it was completely nerve racking! Nevertheless, it forced me to make the effort to talk to people and I’m glad that I did as I had a great time and that evening I met three fabulous ladies, two of which I have subsequently met for dinner, and the other who I connect with through email and twitter. The great thing about these professional relationships is that they can help connect you to other relevant people in your field. Don’t be afraid to put yourself outside your comfort zones. Sometimes it’s in those situations you end up having the best time and learning more about yourself.
5. Take up some new (or old) interests. I love singing and regularly sang in my old church choir. Having moved I would love to continue this at my new church. Now this won’t happen overnight but it’s something good to work towards and will help me get more integrated, thus building my community. I also recently joined the gym in an attempt to get fit for the wedding. Now to be honest I don’t really go to the gym to make friends as I’m hardly there, but I know some people who do. So if you’re that person get yourself down to your local sports facility and get involved, whether it be football, tennis or salsa dancing. Hobbies and interests are a great way to make new friends.
6. Get out and meet the local business. The village (and yes they still call themselves a village) where I live is small! There is just one high street where you can find everything, such as the bank, chemist, baker, butcher, post office, grocery store and of course the fish and chip shop and curry house. I have made a point to visit most of them and in a village as small as mine, locals always know when there are new people about and start to talk to you, asking questions. Be open to this, they’re not being nosey (well sometimes they are), they are just keen to find out more about you as well as give you useful information. In terms of my neighbours themselves I have spoken to most of them, but it’s the usual ‘hi/bye’. I did ask to borrow a can opener from my immediate neighbour when I first moved in and that was probably the longest conversation I have had with any of my neighbours. I hope over time, that this will change.
7. Join the Residents Association. May seem a little 'OTT' or old school but this has helped me to get familiar with the village where I live and its goings on. They also provide advice about safety, recycling and new things coming to village, as well as update you on things that are already in the village. Last week for instance, I found out that the local high school/college has it own sports facility which is open to the public in the evenings and you can use the gym, do dance glasses, play badminton etc – all at a greatly reduced rate than what I’m currently paying at my city centre gym. So finding that out has been really beneficial and I will be cancelling my Virgin Active membership pronto.
8. Finally, if in doubt, Facebook it. When I am trying to find out something locally and I haven’t got a clue, I often post the question in my status on Facebook. This has worked on numerous occasions, more recently when trying to find a new hairdresser and your Facebook friends who live in the area or know the area will come back to you with an answer, which nine out of ten times, will be very useful!

So there you have it, some of the things that have worked for me. I’m sure that there are more, so feel free to leave your own tips below.