On This Your First Father’s Day

On this your first Father’s Day… I want to tell you just how proud of you I am.

Fatherhood has come so naturally to you and as I watch the bond the two of you share, I am so grateful to God for your relationship. You really are her first love and I pray that it remains so.

My own personal father-daughter relationship has been challenging at times, but my experiences only makes me appreciate what you do and who you are you even more.

You consciously make the effort to buck the mould, REJECTING the stereotypes that society try to enforce as a black father. Instead you carve out your own blueprint for practical biblical fatherhood, understanding the importance of spending time, being hands on and giving of yourself 100% regardless.

Thank you for walking the walk in fatherhood.

Thank you for showing your love practically.

Thank you for being a wonderful father to our daughter. She is blessed to call you Daddy.

Happy Father’s Day!

3 months in...

Thank you for all your comments on my birth story. It was good to finally finish it. Being able to reminisce was actually quite therapeutic, allowing me to process again what happened. Even Afam said it took him back, being able to re-live the course of events.

11 weeks into motherhood and the learning process continues. Baby girl is now a lot more interactive and to be honest I am finding her a lot more entertaining than when she was a sleepy newborn. She laughs and coos a lot and you actually feel like you’re having a conversation, although an interpreter is needed to make out what she is saying!

Compared to the early days where I genuinely felt like 'what are we doing!?’, these days we are pretty good at reading her cues and are currently trying to get her into a routine.

Motherhood is teaching me a lot about patience and sacrifice and I am learning to draw strength and wisdom from God and His Word.

What is your favourite thing about motherhood and what encourages you? 

The Finale: Birth Story Part Three

Click to read Part One and Part Two.

I prelude this section, by saying the following.

One of good friends told me that in labour two things will happen; it will hurt A LOT and you will think you’re going to die but you’re not. That kind of helped me to prep my mind, a little.

And secondly… I love this quote by Stephanie from A Blue Eyed Boy meets a Brown Eyed Girl where she says…

NEXT TIME I WILL KNOW THAT LABOR HURTS MUCH WORSE THAN I HAD EVER EXPECTED IT TO… and if next time it is as manageable as it was feeling at home, we are NOT very far along yet! =)

This was so true.

*******

Part Two ended with me having contractions throughout the rest of the night, which then stopped at around 4:30am. I was finally able to sleep for like 2 hours or so, before having to get up to go to hospital for our scheduled induction.

When I woke up I was in high spirits. I knew that no matter what happened today, I wouldn’t be sent home and by God’s grace, we would meet our baby girl.

Having been to the hospital on many occasions over the last 72 hours, I was able to repack my hospital and labour bags to contain only the things that were necessary {I still ended up having things that I didn’t use e.g. I packed my kindle, I definitely wasn’t in the reading mood during labour lol}.

We checked in {sounds like I was at a hotel!} around 9:30am and met our midwife, who explained what would happen. Essentially they wanted to monitor me, before deciding the next course of action, to get the labour moving. I would then have the option of a gel or drip. {The Prostaglandin gel ‘rippens' the cervix but I would then need to walk around the ward for another 6 hours. I didn’t want this option. The drip, Syntocinon encourages the body to have contractions, which will encourage the cervix to dilate.} 

My contractions at this point were very irregular and I was still only 2cm dilated. Fortunately the Consultant made the decision to start me straight on the drip.

Here are the timeline of events as I remembered them…

12:30pm – started on Syntocinon drip. Feeling okay and not ‘feeling’ anything. Every half an hour the dosage was increased.

2:30pm – dosage continues to be increased. Starting to feel contractions but nothing unbearable from a pain perspective, breathing through them, still able to have conversations,

3:00pm – dosage continues to be increased and now starting to feel ‘real’ pain. Advised to start on the gas and air, which made me laugh hysterically for the first 5 mins.

Now I can’t remember the timings of the rest but…

The pain is getting too much and they offer to do an examination to see how far I have gone.

The first midwife does an examination and I am told that I have reached 6cm. I am ecstatic and so happy to have made it this far on gas and air only. However a second midwife comes and checks me and confirms that unfortunately the first midwife got it wrong and I am actually only 3cm!!! What!

At this stage this second midwife suggests that I may wish to consider other forms of pain relief as this may be ‘a long one’. I want to punch the first midwife. The contractions are coming regularly and with an intensity that is making me cry. I can barely think through the pain.

I agree to an epidural.

[I had been so against an epidural, because I was so afraid of something going wrong with the whole needle in spine thing, however with my waters breaking and labour not progressing, my whole birth plan did a 180.]

Fortunately for me, the anaesthetist was available to come right away and my job was now to sit really still while he did the procedure, which was hard with the regular contractions.

Epidural done…relief. I take a little nap, I can even converse like a normal person.

About 45 mins later I’m starting to feel pain again. There is something not right with the dosage.

The anaesthetist comes back and increases the dosage. Baby’s heart rate falls. Panic mode. I’m getting prepped for a C-section. Consultant comes into the room and monitors the baby, then decides that all is okay. No c-section needed. Relief.

Pain is starting to increase. What is this? Why can I feel my legs. This epidural is not working.

Pain continues. Not good. They page the anaesthetist, they want him to re-site the epidural. He is no where to be found.

Contractions are increasing, full and fast. The pain is intense. I can remember crying a lot and asking where was the ‘epidural guy’. Epidurals usually work I’m told, but in my case it didn’t. My midwives felt really bad, especially as they had encouraged me to have it.

6pm – Checked and I am 4cm dilated. Only! I am feeling every contraction and the pain is getting worse. It is a body turning, intense, tightening pain, which was no longer every so many minutes, but rolled into one big fat pain.

This continues for the next 3 hours.

Time passes very quickly when your in the throws of labour, at least it did for me. The next thing I remember the midwife asking, ‘do you feel like you’re ready to push?’. How should I know!

She asks to examine me again, I can barely speak but just usher her to get on with it.

We have finally reached the magic number (10cm) and are fully dilated. It is time to push.

Pushing for me was weird. I was so tired but so close to the end and my husband and midwife were encouraging me to keep going. I just wanted it to be over. I was barely surviving on the gas and air.

“Push!” she told me, “you can do it”.

“We can see the head” he told me, “You’re doing so well”.

I just had to go into myself to do it and pushed with the little strength I had left.

At 9:45pm after 4 long pushes our beautiful daughter was born.

They laid her on my chest, hubby cut the cord and I soaked her all in.

I couldn’t quite believe it.

She was here at last. A real baby. I was now a mother.

Thank you God.

 

Next up: life with a newborn + post partum struggles.

Birth Story Part Two

You can read Part One here.

We arrived at hospital and I was breathing through the contractions, they were painful and I was hoping that once examined I would receive the good news that I was in established labour (4cm). Unfortunately this was not the case. She confirmed that my waters had broken, but I was only 2cm! Cue internal tears. What?!

At this point she proceeded to describe to me how the cervix dilates (turtle neck jumper analogy) and advise that there was now a risk of infection and if labour didn’t progress naturally over the next 24 hours I would be induced. This was not what I wanted to hear. To be fair the midwife was really nice about it and reassured me.

She also advised me that normally they would send you home once your water breaks, but their policy had recently changed and now they keep you on the ward and monitor you.

I was transferred to a ward where we waited and they encouraged me to get some rest but also walk about every  now and then, to keep things moving. This was all fine and good, but the thing about your waters breaking is yes it is one event but think of it as a leaking tap, which continues indefinitely. Not great.

As the day progressed instead of my contractions increasing and getting more intense, they began to die down. What had been 5 min apart contractions were now 20 mins apart and on that basis the doctor decided to send me home.  Their rationale…as you’re still not yet in established labour, getting to that stage is best done in the comfort of your own home. Blah Blah Blah.

They said they weren’t ‘chucking me out’ but it sure felt like it. I had overheard some nurses earlioer in the day talking about an influx of patients into labour and delivery and secretly I think they wanted the bed back. Now that I was at at hospital I didn’t want to have to pack up and go home, but my contractions were virtually non existent, so off I went.

I got home and decided to cook some lasagne. which may seem odd but the day before when I thought I was going into labour, all I could think of was, I should have made some food to take with us, hospital food isn’t that great’. So I was happy to come home and do that…weird I know! {Ironically when I came to eat it at around 1pm, the following day, the kitchen to reheat it was closed.}

Later that night after dinner, the contractions returned and in comparison to the previous night, were a lot more painful. As I had already had the ‘go home’ experience at the hospital, I was reluctant to go in again only to be sent home, so I decided to see how long I could manage at home.

The contractions continued to come regularly and by the time they reached 5 mins apart again, I was in agony. We called the hospital and they told us to come in. Off we trundled back to hospital, me, hubs and my mother in law.

Hooked backed up the monitors again they watched the contracts and then did and examination…I was hopeful. What was the magic number…?

Still 2cm!

To appease me I was informed that my cervix had improved - whatever that meant.

They told me to go home…again! There were no words. 

The time was now almost 1am and as we were due to come back to the hospital later that day (9am) for the induction, hubs suggested we ask them if we can stay. I declined. I just wanted to leave. As well as it being frustrating, I was getting embarrassed that I was ‘dragging’ my hubby and MIL to the hospital each time, only to be told that nothing had moved on. Regardless of what my cervix was doing, I felt like a failure.

Back home we went and the contractions continued through the night…

What went down: Birth Story Part One

Where has the time gone. Err hello April! My little princess has reached the two month milestone and gone past it (she’s now 10 weeks – 5 in the picture above).

In that time she has changed so much from the little newborn we first met. She is sleeping less than she used to and is now giving us lots of smiles and laughs which is fun to watch. My mother in law left at the end of February, so this past month we have been learning to figure things as our little family of three.  

I have been wanting to share my birth story for weeks, but finding the time to sit down and write it has been tough. I have recalled the story to many people who have asked, but putting it down into words hasn’t been easy. It’s not like I have forgotten what happened, quite the opposite. I didn’t want to forget anything and whilst I know there will be parts of it I won’t remember (have to rely on hubby for those moments) the bits I do remember I have recorded.

Equally my birth story played out completely different to how we planned or envisaged. At the time this was very frustrating but the end result was the same and I couldn’t be happier with little miss s.

So anywhoo…let’s begin.

So my due date was 19.01.2012. That day came and went and I was bummed.

The previous Monday I went for my 39 week midwife appointment. She did the usual checks and told me to return the following Monday (40 + 4) if nothing had happened, at which point she would perform a membrane sweep. Secretly I hoped and prayed that I would NOT be seeing her the following Monday. 

I knew that few babies actually come on their due date but I was hoping that she would make an appearance on time. Whilst I enjoyed being pregnant, towards the end I was getting bored waiting. My MIL had arrived and it seemed that each day that passed with no baby was a wasted day. I really wanted her to have as much time with the baby as possible.

The following Saturday, I was busy doing things around the house but noticed that I was feeling reduced fetal movements. Since the fall two weeks prior I was conscious to make sure I felt her move every day. Before calling the hospital I did all the usual things to get her to move, however it was limited and not normal, so I spoke to the hospital and they told me to come in.

At the hospital they hooked me up to the monitor and watched me for an hour. Thankfully she was looking fine and was moving around as she should. The midwife was happy and said I could go home.

As I was already past my due date, before we left I asked the midwife whether she would be able to perform the membrane sweep today, rather than wait until Monday, maybe it would speed things along. She agreed and off we went home.

The next day (Sunday) hubby and I decided to go for a super long walk around our neighbourhood. Now this walk was long! We were out for over an hour and here’s me 40 weeks plus waddling about but it felt good to be doing something.

That night at 11:30pm my water’s broke.

{Now folks, I was always concerned about this whole water breaking thing 1. where would it happen and 2. would I know it was happening. Let’s just say I’m so glad I was at home and there was no mistaking it was my water’s breaking.}

Excited I called the hospital who told me to come in the following morning for confirmation.

I went back to bed filled with anticipation. Little did I know that this was the start of many trips to the hospital.

To be continued…

Miss Siobi

Many have asked what does Siobi mean?

Siobi : pronounced See-oh-bee

It is short for Chidintukwasiobi  which is ‘God is Faithful’ in Igbo.

When choosing her name we decided to work backwards.  We knew what we wanted her name to mean and between an Igbo bible and Google, her name was formed. 

God’s faithfulness is a theme tune that runs through our family. We see it day in day out and continue to be in awe of what God does for us.

Now obviously Chidintukwasiobi is a lot for a child to spell so she’ll be known as Siobi.

Motherhood is treating me well. Physically I am feeling a lot better than I did in the first week and it’s amazing how quickly you learn to know your child. I can change a nappy super fast and have learnt to do many everyday tasks one handed! Emotionally every time I look at her I can’t quite believe she is the same baby I carried for nine months. She has her own little personality and really only ever cries when she is tired or hungry. The love I have for her is so deep and I want to do everything in my power to protect and nurture her.

Labour seems like a distant memory and life has become a whirlwind of hugs, kisses, feeds and nappy changes.

Motherhood – I heart it.

Birth story coming soon…

Then Comes Baby

So it’s been a week since Siobi entered our lives and what a week it has been. Thank you for all your  comments and emails of love and congrats. We were really touched.

As each day passes we are becoming more confident and comfortable in our abilities to take care of her. She has been feeding well and growing well (she put weight on at her recent midwife visit) and is such a peaceful little girl.

Having a third person around has been invaluable. I really don’t know how we would have coped this past week without my MIL being around. She has been a real blessing. My first meal home from hospital was pepper soup…yummy!

This past weekend we had family visiting and it was so amazing to see how much joy one little baby can bring. My siblings are all thrilled to be uncles and aunties for the first time and for my parents this is their first grandchild, so it is a huge milestone for them. Nevertheless even as grandchild number 4, Afam’s parents are over the moon too.

Labour was intense and completely different to how I planned or imagined, but the outcome was still the same and we were blessed with a beautiful daughter. I am slowly getting into a routine and hope to post about my labour experience and life as a momma very soon. In the meantime you will see a couple of guest posts thrown in here and there to keep the blog ticking over. And for those of you awaiting pictures… here is something to tide you over (Yes I am such a tease)!

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Today I have my lovely friend Modupe from Hepzibah Bride writing about having children and timing.

At our traditional engagement and wedding ceremony, our non-Nigerian friends were highly amused at the prayers and blessings pronounced over us that went something like 'Oh Lord, this time next year, bless them with the fruit of the womb!' Cue a resounding "AMEN!" Talk about pressure! And I am certain that there were auntie's that were sneaking looks at my middle in the months following to see if any growth was apparent.

Contrast that with the prayer of the vicar at a friends wedding - "Lord if they wish to have children..." Cue the the once closed eyes tight in fervent agreement flying open with shock and a stifled "ah ah, wetin' be the problem of this father, of course they want to have children now! God forbid bad thing that they won't have children!" Actually, my friends were in their forties and so the vicar's prayer put very little pressure on them.

So, to wait or not to wait - that is the question. For some, the choice is not actually theirs, because for some reason best known to Him, the Lord may decide to withhold the gift of a child for some time. But otherwise the decision on whether or not a couple have a honeymoon baby can depend on factors such as:

Adjusting period - getting married is a big deal and there's a lot of teething that goes on in the first year of marriage. You might decide that it's best to settle down as a married couple first before bringing children into the mix.

Age - if you're a relatively young couple, you may want to wait a while before starting a family so that you can do things like travelling together before kids come along, and then be older and wiser for the parenting season of your lives. On the other hand, you might think that it's best to have children early so that you can be energetic enough to take care of them, be young enough to be able to relate to them better when they reach adolescence, and then still be young(ish) when the children have flown the nest.

If you're an older couple, you might think that time is against them and so may want to have children straight away.

Views on contraception - if you'd rather not use contraception until you've had your first child, or you don't believe contraception is right for you at all, then all things being equal, a baby will follow very shortly after your marriage. A lot of girls that I know, come out with grand plans of waiting for a certain number of years, without thinking practically about how they are going to achieve that. I mean, if you're not keen on hormonal contraception and using barrier contraception on your honeymoon doesn't tickle your fancy, if your wedding takes place during your peak conception period, sorry love, your mama's going to be a grandma sooner than you think! (a few young girls are bumped back down to reality when I break it down to them like that!)

Circumstance - in an ideal world, when you get married, you should be financially sound, but things happen, and perhaps financially having a baby straight after marriage isn't a good a idea. The same applies if you still need to settle down accommodation/location wise as a couple. Of course adverse conditions don't mean you should put having a family on hold - the Lord is faithful and will work things out - look at Mary and Joseph...

Children are a blessing from the Lord (Psalm 127:3-5), but no one should feel under pressure about having children. As long as you PRAY and AGREE as a couple and ultimately hand your desires and plans over to the capable hands of God (Proverbs 3:5-7; Psalm 37:4), whenever you have children is perfect. There's no right or wrong.

I know you must be itching to find out...we had a honeymoon baby, which we were totally prepared for :-)

The Middle Wife

This was sent to me today and I thought it would be fun to share.

The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First,  Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my  Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop!  My  Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands mimicking water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.

They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ' Middle Wife' comes along.

******************

Here is my latest pregnancy vlog (hopefully the last one before baby comes!)

Happy Friday Everyone!

Baby E…the story so far

So it’s fair to say that I am getting a bit bored waiting around. Everyone is like enjoy this time…

Not feeling any signs so just getting on with house stuff and daily walks with mum. I suppose it’s nice not to have the ‘pressure’ of doing things, but it’s still that unknown of ‘when will it happen’.

I’m properly in nesting mode, having cleaned out my kitchen today and rearranged everything! I’m also going to attempt to make some hummus this afternoon, after having a craving for it and not really feeling like trekking to the shop for it.

Friends and family have been so generous the past few days, dropping off baby clothes and equipment for us. I’ve also sorted out my labour playlist for my ipod; a list of my favourite worship songs to listen to in hospital.

So anyways here’s the latest info…

• How Far Along? 39 weeks and 5 days
• Total Weight Gain/Loss: Dare I look at the scales anymore.
• Maternity Clothes? Yes. Live in my mothercare leggings – love them so much.
• Stretch Marks? Moving on.
• Sleep: Doing okay on this front. Although all my dreams are no longer weird vivid things but are all about labour. 
• Best Moment of the Week? Antenatal appointment and finding out baby is engaged.
• Miss Anything? Bending down. Lying on my back.
• Movement: Yes but baby E is getting pretty cramped in there for sure. Also she is now back to back, rather than front to back, so I getting lots of random body parts poking at my belly.
• Food Cravings: Cheese, sardine and jam. All on the same sandwich. Also these bad boys:



• Anything Making You Queasy or Sick? Nope fortunately.
• Gender Prediction: Still a girl.
• Labour Signs: Not really sure. Baby is engaged and have felt mild cramps but nothing more.
• Belly Button In or Out: Was an innie, now it’s just flat. 
• Wedding Rings On or Off: Have been fortunate, have not had to remove them yet.
• Happy or Moody Most of the Time? Depends. Generally happy but have moments of frustration!!!
• Looking Forward To: HAVING THIS BABY.

I can see the finish line!

Woohoo – hello week 39!

Not feeling any labour signs as of yet, at least I don’t think I am.

Below is my latest pregnancy vlog for weeks 37+38.

Can’t believe I’ve been recording these videos for the past 30 weeks. It was a completely new thing for me, one I had to step outside my comfort zone to do, but I’m happy that I’ve managed to continue making them to the finish line.

Some weeks have been harder than others, but it will be nice to have a record of my first pregnancy and see how I changed over the months. Also if baby girl ever wants to see details of her journey to the world, she can watch!

Just for laughs, look at the difference between my latest vlog…

and my very first at just a mere 7 weeks!

p.s. I’m thinking of doing a pregnancy q+a video, so if you have questions you would like answered, feel free to comment below and I’ll do my best to compile a video with answers.

The day I took a tumble

So yesterday I fell over.

I can’t even explain how it happened but I tripped and fell face/belly down into an empty Tube carriage. I wasn’t even in a rush or anything, but somehow I managed to catch my foot climbing into the carriage and fell.

I remember laying there. I remember pain. I remember crying.

I also remember this lovely old lady coming to help me and then her getting off the next available station to call my husband so that he could take me to A&E. #lackofphonesignalonthetubesucks

Thank God – baby is fine. I am just a little bruised up but will also be fine.

The devil is a liar.

I however will not be taking any more chances and have taken this as my cue to chill at home. No more unnecessary outings for me.

This journey is almost over (39 weeks tomorrow!) and what a great testimony of God’s love and faithfulness it has been.

In other news my MIL is here! Baby girl you can now make your appearance!

First time experiences

I’m not going to lie to you, I am on watch.

Since reaching 37 weeks (38 tomorrow), every little ache, twitch or pain I feel now, I’m like ‘is this the start of labour’?

The thing about going through your first pregnancy is that you have no idea what to expect in any aspect. I am constantly texting my friends who have been through this before to get their advice and guidance because quite frankly I haven’t got a clue what is going to happen next or when. The whole aspect of the unknown is slightly scary. You just have no control. Whilst I know everyone’s experience is different, it’s nice to hear other people’s experiences. [Readers who have given birth – did you get any warning beforehand?]

Last week at our antenatal appointment, the midwife suspected that the baby was breech and wanted me to go for an urgent scan. At 37 weeks it the last thing you want to hear but off we went, praying that all would be well. Personally I wasn’t 100% convinced with her diagnosis given that all the kicks I had been feeling were at the top, but hey it is better to be safe, plus we get another opportunity to see our sweet little girl again. Thankfully the scan was fine and she was confirmed as cephalic (or ‘head down’ in layman’s language) and hubs and I could breath a sigh of relief.

Back to waiting.

As I get closer to our due date, the first question people always ask my husband is ‘has your wife gone into labour yet?’. Any time we call a family member, that is their first thought and we often have to spend the first 5-10 seconds reassuring them that nothing has happened yet and when it does they will be the first to know!

Physically I am feeling it. I have evenings when I just feel blah! When I just want my body back and the ability to turn in the night without it being an Olympic feat. I seriously have to psych myself up for those night turns. I know that once she is here, I will miss the self containment I have now, but it’s tough. The human body never ceases to amaze me. Now that I am no longer working my wardrobe consists of three items which are on constant rotation, due to the fact that they are the only comfortable items I own right now!

Hubby has been great throughout it all though. Reassuring me when I have my body image crisis meltdowns, giving me massages and foot rubs when I am tired, helping around the house, putting on my shoes lol! He has been a real trooper and I appreciate everything he is doing. I know he too is anxious to meet our little one, as this journey feels like it has been going on forever.

Second time round, I’m hoping the experience will be a whole lot more relaxing!

Term!

Dear Baby,

Congratulations on reaching 37 weeks today.

You are officially ‘full term’, although your due date is not for another 3 weeks.

Mummy is feeling slightly more uncomfortable but still loves every kick, jab and poke you give. I will so miss them when you’re on the outside.

Grandma is on her way and can’t wait to hold you. Daddy is so excited too.

We all eagerly await your arrival!

Lots of love, always.

Thoughts at 36 weeks

1. I must have been running on adrenaline the last couple of weeks. I honestly don't know where I found the energy to do things.

2. I foolishly thought finishing work would give me more time to do things, but I'm finding that I am tired all the time. My body is slowing down and even if I'm not actively doing anything, just the movements of the baby alone, exhaust me. It's a lot tougher to move about or even find a comfortable seating position and I can't stand for longer than 10/15 mins without feeling extreme backache. However it's not for much longer and it is good to know that she is still head down.

3. I spent last weekend washing all her clothes, blankets, bedding etc. Who knew that baby laundry would be so exciting and smell so good! Looking at all the items, as small as they are it's amazing to think that in a month or so, they will be worn and used. We've also sorted out the pram and car seat, so things are coming together nicely. I've picked up all the things needed for my hospital bag and will pack them all sometime this weekend.

4. Emotionally, while I am excited and looking forward to baby coming, I'm finding myself irritated by the smallest of things. If something is not right or in place, I get upset or angry. It's so frustrating and my poor husband is feeling the full brunt of it all. I'm assuming this is another pregnancy hormonal change, but I hope it goes away soon. I don't like being grumpy, especially at this time of year!

5. Getting out of the house is good. I spent the first part of the week away with hubs, which was good for a change of scenery and to get a bit of rest away from home. At home there is always something to be done, so being away helped me to relax and rest. It was also nice to order lots of room service and have someone else do the cooking for a change!

6. I enjoy finding baby bargains. This week we picked up the last few bits of baby things and I was able to price match a lot of things to get some good deals in store. #itsthelittlethings

7. Next Thursday she will be full term, which means she can arrive at any time. My thoughts: Please let us see the New Year!

8. My MIL has booked her flights and will be with us in 2.5 weeks. Can't wait for her to come. Yay for mothers and proper Naija food!

9. I have been listening to lots of Hillsong United lately. Loving the 'Tear Down the Walls' album. Hopefully baby will have heard the tracks enough times, that when I play it for her on the outside, she will recognise them :)

10. I am SO glad I beat the crowds and ordered all my groceries online (unlike last year). If you have never been to a supermarket in the run up to Christmas, you won't appreciate how amazing this is!

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve so from our family to yours - wishing you a wonderful Christmas!

35 and 35

Today marks 35 weeks of pregnancy with 35 days to go…a pretty cool pregnancy milestone don’t you think!

I finished work yesterday and was surprised about how emotional I felt about it.

I got into the office and my team had decorated my desk with ‘congratulations’ signs and confetti. I also had an ‘it’s a girl’ balloon hanging from my chair (which is just cut out of the picture). I work in an open plan office so if there was any doubt I was having a baby, there was no denying it now!

We had lunch planned at a local restaurant, however when we arrived they had already decided to give our table away as we arrived late. Slight bummer, but we ended up doing lunch in our work restaurant. To be honest, it was more about the people than the location, so it was still good.

I am so ready to leave, there is no doubting that, my body reminds me every morning, but actually saying goodbye to people, made it all very real and sad. It’s definitely the end of an era.

I know I’m going to do something far more important but let’s just say I was grateful for the coffee handover I had with a colleague which gave me the opportunity to leave the building before the tears started. 

To all my colleagues, thank you for all the well wishes and gifts and special thanks for making my last day fun and memorable.

Time to put my feet up…

You carry it well

That seems to be the most used phrase people say to me these days. I don’t know whether that is good or bad. At 34 weeks pregnant, I’m feeling bigger every day but I guess in comparison to others (which I know I shouldn’t do) I must still look small? Dunno, I blame it on my tall frame. The midwife measured me today and I’m still on track so that is all that matters.

This week sees me finish work (yay) and I have a team lunch planned which will be a nice end to the year. I’m thinking it’s also time to start getting ready for the Christmas and get out the tree and start decorating the place. I thinking this Christmas will be a quiet one, which I am totally up for. No fuss, just church in the morning, then a nice dinner in the afternoon, simple but perfect.

We’ve also started getting the final bits for baby. We’ve split our shopping into bitesize chunks, having done the first trip last week and the next one this weekend. Shopping in stores is not for, especially with Christmas crowds, but can I just say how much I love baby shopping! There is so much cute stuff out there and for girls especially it so adorable, I am having to control my urges to snap up everything in sight.

It’s funny how depending on your phase of life, you visit different aisles when you go to shops. Never before have I ventured into the baby section of stores, but now it’s the first places I visit.

The baby’s room is taking shape and next week I will begin washing everything. One of my mummy friends was like I didn’t need to, but it seems to be the general consensus to wash everything in non-bio soap powder before using on baby, so I will get that done.

It amazing to think that in 5 short weeks or so, she will here. Can’t wait to meet her!

Catch up with the latest pregnancy vlogs below.

 

Showers of love

Saturday was my baby shower hosted by my wonderful friend, Mrs G. 

It was a lovely day and I got to see friends and family I hadn’t seen in a while.

We played games, ate great food, shared lots of advice and prayed over the little one.

There was lots of love in the room!

Baby E is so blessed already. I am so grateful for my community.

Mrs G, me,  my sis and Mrs O

Best bits of advice (I can remember!)

- don’t forget your husband and be sure to get him involved. Try and have time out for the two of you – which God willing we should be able to do as my MIL will be on hand to help

- don’t compare your baby to others, your child is unique

- it is not my responsibility to raise this child, in as much as God will help and provide us with all the tools needed to raise her as we should. Children are gift from God and we are merely caretakers.

- God gives you grace for every season

- don’t be a superwoman – yes the house is dirty, nobody will die – no mummy guilt!

- babies are more resilient than you think!

- use the community around you – many people will offer up their help – don’t be afraid to use it

A big thank you to all who came, we appreciate you!

* I am behind on my vlogs – life has been busy, but I promise to do an update this week!

If I Should Have A Daughter

I came across this wonderful poem the other day written by American poet Sarah Kay.

Words for those of you who can’t watch the video:

If I should have a daughter, instead of Mom, she's gonna call me Point B, because that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me.

And I'm going to paint solar systems on the backs of her hands, so she has to learn the entire universe before she can say, "Oh, I know that like the back of my hand."

And she's going to learn that this life will hit you hard in the face, wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach.

But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

There is hurt here that cannot be fixed by Band-Aids or poetry.

So the first time she realizes that Wonder Woman isn't coming, I'll make sure she knows she doesn't have to wear the cape all by herself.

Because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal.

Believe me, I've tried. "And, baby," I'll tell her, don't keep your nose up in the air like that. I know that trick; I've done it a million times. You're just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house, so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else find the boy who lit the fire in the first place, to see if you can change him."

But I know she will anyway, so instead I'll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boots nearby, because there is no heartbreak that chocolate can't fix.

Okay, there's a few heartbreaks that chocolate can't fix.

But that's what the rain boots are for.

Because rain will wash away everything, if you let it.

I want her to look at the world through the underside of a glass-bottom boat, to look through a microscope at the galaxies that exist on the pinpoint of a human mind, because that's the way my mom taught me.

That there'll be days like this.

♫ There'll be days like this, my momma said. ♫

When you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises; when you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape; when your boots will fill with rain, and you'll be up to your knees in disappointment.

And those are the very days you have all the more reason to say thank you.

Because there's nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it's swept away.

You will put the wind in winsome, lose some.

You will put the star in starting over, and over.

And no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute, be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting, I am pretty damn naive.

But I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar.

It can crumble so easily, but don't be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it.

"Baby," I'll tell her, "remember, your mama is a worrier, and your papa is a warrior, and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more."

Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things.

And always apologize when you've done something wrong.

But don't you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining.

Your voice is small, but don't ever stop singing.

And when they finally hand you heartache, when they slip war and hatred under your door and offer you handouts on street-corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.

You can buy a book of this poem, B by Sarah Kay from Amazon, which would make a great Christmas gift for your sister, mother, friend or daughter.

Happy Wednesday!

Not long now

13 days. That's how many working days I have left before I finish up at work.

Time has gone so quickly and it's hard to believe that very soon work will no longer be on the brain.

Don't get me wrong I enjoy work and the people I work with but I am relishing the next twelve months where I will get to use my mind for other things and focus my attentions on new interests and goals.

You know all those things you wished you had the time to pursue? Well it's those things I hope I can get an opportunity to embrace.

My MIL is also going to be around for two months and because she does not live here in the UK, I am looking forward to spending quality time building our mother/daughter relationship.

Mainly this next year will be about becoming a mother and all that it entails. Living the life of a SAHM.

It will be an adjustment but one I am ready for. It's time.

Parentcraft Class

(Not my antenatal class)

On Saturday morning we woke up bright and early to attend our day of Parentcraft classes. For those outside the UK these are the antenatal classes provided to you by your hospital in the run up to your birth. They’re free and can either be attended over several evenings or in one large block. We decided that we would prefer to do a whole day session and we would also be able to get a tour of the delivery suite/rooms as well.

Having spoken to a couple of my mummy friends, we had a bit of an idea what to expect, although there were things I thought would happened which didn’t.

There were around 20 couples, all of whom were due within the next two months and the class was led by a lovely midwife. A mother of six herself, I really enjoyed her teaching style. She made the class very interesting and humorous, interjecting theory with real life examples.

The topics she covered were:

* stages of labour (got to watch a video along with it)

* what to bring to the hospital (the NHS doesn’t give you ANYTHING these days!)

* putting together a birth plan

* forms of pain relief

* hospital policy – dos & don’ts

* different types of births including induction & caesarean plus after effects

What she didn’t cover:

* breathing techniques

* breastfeeding

For me I found the session really useful because we were able to ask questions specific to ourselves and the hospital. Being an experienced midwife she didn’t pull any punches and was really practical and honest about what happens, which I appreciated.

We talked through all the different forms of pain relief and it confirmed my original thoughts around keeping labour as natural as possible. The plan for me is to use gas and air and not have an epidural.

At the hospital you have two options where to have your baby, the Delivery Suite or the Midwife Led Unit (MLU). I have opted for the MLU. The MLU is like having your baby in the comfort of your home but with the safety of a hospital environment and is less evasive.

Women for whom it is suitable will give birth in a low tech, midwife-led area, often requiring less pain relief, the unit specialises in normal (natural) childbirth in a relaxed and restful environment and caters for water births, breastfeeding and traditional methods of child birth/care.

As the class didn’t cover breastfeeding I have a separate session on this with a local breastfeeding specialist.

How many of you put together a birth plan – was it helpful when you went into labour?

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