Who’s that girl?

A few weeks ago I was clearing through some old boxes and stumbled across some old CDs, in fact loads of them. Some of the CDs were labelled ‘Summer Mix 2003’ or ‘Holiday photos’ but others were blank. As I was in clear out mode and wanted to decide which to keep or throw out, I painstakingly went through them all to find out.

On some CDs I found ‘mixtapes’ that I had made back in the day, tracks of different songs, different artists and as I listened I couldn’t help notice how much my music taste has changed over the years. Music has a funny way of taking you back to a memory, a place, a moment and as I sat there reflecting, I found it hard to believe I am the same girl who made all those mixes years ago.

Even just going back five years, the things I was into,  the things I did or didn’t do or the things that occupied my thoughts and mind, I feel like my life has moved a thousand knots in a completely different direction and I don’t really recognised or relate to that girl anymore.

I guess it’s all part of growing up and maturing but if I could pinpoint anything that helped this transformation, I would credit two things: God and my husband.

Over the last few years my relationship with God has taken a new dimension. I trust and rely on Him more. I have seen Him do some many great things in my life, but He has also taught me many lessons, some more painful than others as He moulds me into the woman he wants me to be. My faith is strong and I look to Him for guidance in all aspects of my life.

Through God I met my husband who has also had a profound and positive impact on my life. Encouraging me to believe in myself, learn new skills, take new risks and be my daily mirror.

When you reflect back on your life, do you recognise the person from your past? Are you happy with the direction you’re moving in?

{Image source}

The real job description

I’ve just finished reading a fantastic book called Feminine Appeal: 7 Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother by Caroline Mahaney and it got me thinking about marriage and God’s purpose for wives.

The book is based on Titus 2 and the seven virtues that women should possess. Which are to…

‘love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands’ (Titus 2: 4-5)

A job description if you may.

The Contemporary English Version says:

Each of the younger women must be sensible and kind, as well as a good homemaker, who puts her own husband first. {emphasis mine}

Many times I know what is right but don’t quite want to admit it and this book really challenged me about my attitude to certain aspects of my role as a wife. The two things that stuck out for me were ‘good homemaker’ {the bible actually affirms our responsibilities in our homes} and ‘puts her own husband first’. After God, my husband is my number one responsibility and priority.

As a wife there is this constant desire for perfection; house in order, dinner on the table, laundry all complete, always submissive but the honest truth is that I’m not there yet. I am very much a work in progress.

However, everyday I pray for grace.

Grace to always respectfully submit.

Grace to accept situations and react appropriately.

Grace to say ‘no’ and maintain the right priorities.

Grace to admit when I am wrong, humble myself and apologise.

She is strong and graceful, as well as cheerful about the future. Her words are sensible, and her advice is thoughtful.

She takes good care of her family and is never lazy.

Her children praise her, and with great pride her husband says, "There are many good women, but you are the best!" {Proverbs 31: 25-28}

Grace to ultimately allow God to refine me into the woman He wants me to become.

That is my heart.

Becoming wife - domesticity

 

{Source}

They say a “wise woman builds her house”.

Since moving into our new place, I have this desire to get it all set up as best I can. We haven’t got all our furniture yet but I really want to make our house a home. I feel it’s my responsibility and I want it to be somewhere where we look forward to coming back to.

We’ve experienced a number of issues with the flat since moving in, but our Letting Agents have been great in sorting them all out and hopefully by the end of the month everything should all be fixed and our new sofa’s will have arrived as well.

We had our first trip to IKEA together last week. Mr E wasn’t too impressed with the maze like store layout and wanted to get out as quickly as possible. I on the hand was in home furnishing heaven! There are so many things I would love to buy for our place now, but we have had to prioritise and get the important stuff first. Building a home takes time!

Our wedding presents from the gift registry arrive on Saturday and while I’m looking forward to getting them, I’m wondering where everything will all go. Mr E hates clutter so I to ensure that the useable places e.g. our bedroom, kitchen and living area are as clutter-free as possible and keep the rest of unpacked boxes out of sight. Some of our wedding gifts will only come out during special occasions anyway {e.g. special plates etc}.

We lost our dishwasher when we moved here, i.e. the new place doesn’t have one, so it was back to old fashion rubber gloves and a sponge! I thought I would hate it, but I’ve got used to it and some times think I wash things better than the dishwasher ever did! It definitely disciplines you.

Another thing I enjoying is figuring out what we’re going to have for dinner, trying new dishes on my husband and getting his reaction. He loves his food and I love it when he loves what I cook. I’ve also started making his lunch for work {mine too} which is saving us loads of money.

Some things that are helping me…

- Grocery shop online. I’m not a fan of supermarkets. Some of them are huge and I always end up spending way more than I planned, due to offers or seeing extra treats. As I want to learn to stay within budget, online shopping has become my best friend. I order all my groceries, choose a delivery slot and wait for them to bring my groceries to me. The great thing is, they do all the hard work and the delivery charge works out less than petrol and my time would be. The shop I use also stores the items I regularly buy as ‘my favourites’ which makes the online experience even quicker!

- Have a menu. I know this sounds very restaurant like, but it really helps to meal plan so a)You know what you’re making, b)You know what to buy {see the first point}.

- Cooking in bulk. When I have time I try to make sauces enough to last for several meals and freeze. It saves so much time for those days I don’t feel like cooking. I’m not fully in the swing of this yet but I’m trying.

- Staying on top of things. Who says cleaning has to be done on a Saturday? Or laundry on a Sunday? Choose the day of the week that works for you. Spread the task over the week, so it doesn’t seem so large. Do your worst task first. For me that would be the bathroom! I’m not perfect, but I’m trying!

How are you making the adjustment into wife like domesticity or if you’re not yet married how are you preparing?

p.s. Congratulations to Bianca Juarez and Matt Olthoff who get married today. If you haven’t read her blog, check it out today.

Titus 2 - learning from others

This weekend just gone, I travelled down south to spend time with some friends of ours. They're actually friends of Mr E but over the past two years they have become 'our' friends.

They have been married for over 4 years and have two amazingly gorgeous twins, who I had a real blast getting to know, with another on the way.

Titus 2 is a great chapter, which teaches us that we should learn from the 'older' women to be 'good homemakers, who put their husbands first'. I went there to get to know them better and also to learn from them because they always seem to have pearls of wisdom whenever I speak to them.

³Tell the older women to behave as those who love the Lord should. They must not gossip about others or be slaves of wine. They must teach what is proper, ⁴so the younger women will be loving wives and mothers. ⁵Each of the younger women must be sensible and kind, as well as a good homemaker, who puts her own husband first. Then no one can say insulting things about God's message.

A while back I wrote the 'telling it how it is' post, where I spoke about how I appreciated couples who keep it real. They definitely did that and I was able to learn a lot in the short space of time I was with them. Its also good to watch other couples and see how they interact with each other.

Some of their great advice included the following:

- It starts with your relationship with God. Ensure that it is spot on, otherwise your relationship with your spouse will suffer. The devil looks for ways to tamper with this relationship, so be on guard.

- Care for their soul. In marriage while you love your spouse, you should genuinely care for their soul. This will come into play when you have arguments etc. Be mindful of what you say and learn to let things go.

- A wise woman builds her home. Nuff said!

- Pray {all the time and for each other, all the time}

- Don't let the flesh take over {selfishness, pride, lust etc}

- Know your priorities - family is first

- Know your limits. We're not superheroes {this one is for the ladies!}

- Husbands should love their wives with understanding.

- kids change EVERYTHING. They will change YOU.

One of other reasons why I had such a great weekend {which helped me forget about the horrible cold I had} was that it was so nice to be around family again. It helps you put things into perspective when you're sat having a conversation about life with two 3 year olds!

If you have the opportunity to spend time with families and other married couples, jump on it. You will be surprised with what you learn and you will definitely leave encouraged and blessed!

6 ways to be influential women in marriage

A while back I read the book 'The Man Whisperer’ by Rick Johnson. A thought provoking book if ever I saw one. It made me realise just how influential we woman can be in our marriages.
Here are 6 areas the book tells us that we can be influential as women in our relationships:

1. Encourage other men in his life
How often than not, do we mix with other couples. We should develop relationships with wives of good men. Iron sharpens iron and we become like the people we surrounded ourselves with.

2. Encourage spiritual leadership
This can be done through prayer, asking him to say grace, asking him spiritual questions, encouraging retreats.

3. Help him to be a better dad
As a wife, you are his greatest asset as a father. Provide him with information about the emotional lives and challenges of your children that he would not be aware of without your support. Also edify him as  a father and leader in the home – this is hugely powerful in garnering the respect of his children. As wives you are an excellent barometer to help him gauge how well he is doing as a father. He needs to know what the needs of his children are and when does something well.

4. Dream with your husband
Ask him about his dreams. Encourage him to discover something he is passionate about. Ask the questions ‘If time and money were no object, what would you want to spend the rest of your life doing?’. Even if he never acts on his dreams, it is important for a man to have them.

5. Watch out for his health
When he is sick, make sure he goes to the doctor. You want him with you for a long time! We all know what men are like with ‘man-flu’, so when he’s sick, nurture him – TLC is a good remedy. Make sure he eats a healthy diet, nutritious food is in his best interest of his long term health.
Make sure he regularly takes scheduled time off work – holidays and time away from work keep him falling into health risk. Remind him that whilst you appreciate his hard work and all the hours he puts in at the office, you want to spend time with him even more.

6. Pray with and for your husband
Pray for his work, that it will be productive and fulfilling to him. Pray for the temptations he will face {lust, stealing, cheating, compromising of principles – it all starts with small steps}
Pray for wisdom and discernment. Wisdom can help your husband in all aspects of his life. The wiser he becomes, the more benefits the family reaps as a whole.
Thanks God for providing you with a good man. Whatever his faults he loves you so much and he would be willing to give his life for you. Be grateful for what you have. 

Pray that God would show me how best to love, nurture and support my husband as part of a team. Lord, bind us together in a strong, satisfying marriage relationship. Amen

Any advice for single girls?

This question was sent to me via Formspring and I thought it would be good to share the answer.

In addition to all the things I mentioned on my '7 things to do while you're waiting'' post, here are a couple of extra things I would say:

(1) Live your life - enjoy your single years and don't go looking. It's a cliché, but he WILL find you, in his own good time.

(2) Develop your 'wifey' skills e.g. If you want to develop your culinary skills, now is the time - where mistakes don't really matter as much!. Spend time leading a Sunday School class at church or babysitting if you want to develop your maternal skills etc

(3) Guard your heart - ensure that a man defines your relationship with him, before you commit your heart to him {future post on this coming up}. As women we can so often assume things that are not there. Seek advice/guidance from your parents, Pastor or more experience person if you're not sure.

(4) Fill your mind with the truth: I read {and continue to read} many great books. Ones that helped me include:
* Secrets of an Irresistible Woman - Michelle McKinney Hammond
* In search of the Proverbs 31 Man - Michelle McKinney Hammond
* Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen - Candice Watters

Of course the Bible is the book of truth on all matters of life.

(5) Don't beat yourself up if you make mistakes, we all do. Just pick yourself up, ask God for forgiveness and start again.

(6) Develop your own walk with God and pray lots - I can't stress how important this is. I grew up in a Christian home, but it wasn't until I got to university that I developed my own personal relationship with God and I love it. A great book that helped me on prayer is: Too Busy Not to Pray: Slowing Down to Be With God by Bill Hybels

(7) Finally, Surround yourself with great girlfriends; married and single.

'As iron sharpens iron, so one {wo}man sharpens another' Proverbs 27:17.

I have some fantastic girlfriends who have been there throughout the whole singleness journey and continue to support now as I get ready to be wife.

It's great and also important to have someone you can be honest with, accountable to and share the highs and the lows of life. In addition someone who will pray for and with you.

Loving the questions - Keep them coming!

7 things to do ‘While you are waiting’

A few years ago I went to relationship seminar hosted by Michelle McKinney Hammond. She gave some fantastic advice to those of us waiting for the Mr or Ms Right and it really helped me at the time. I found one of my old notebooks and thought it would be good to share.

1. Be what you want to attract.

What type of person do you want in your life? You want a warm, funny, educated person. Ask yourself: Am I that person? Sometimes the qualities we seek in our future partner are things that we also need to work on ourselves. Often I think of God saying, when you hand him over your great big list of wants, ‘okay so you want all this for you, what have you got to offer?’

2. What do I deserve?

You deserve God’s best. When I was born He said ‘I was a good thing’. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am a priceless jewel who should treasured and look after.

If it looks like a skunk, walks like a skunk and smells like a skunk – it is a skunk.  To often we settle for 10% when our 100% is out there waiting for us.

Do not accept: bad behaviour in any shape or form. If he is behaving badly now, what makes you think he will change when you get together?

3. Get busy about life. Meet others who have things in common.

Live life to the fullest. Look at your gifts {usually what people celebrate that you think is nothing} and use them. A little thing can turn into a big thing, if you let God develop it. Know the value of your gift.

Develop your talents and don’t spend time ‘waiting’ around doing nothing, your single years are when you’re most free. You can do what you want, go where you want. Stay busy being purposeful.

‘Occupy until I come’. Luke 19:13.

4. Get into community with people.

God created us to love. Pour yourself out to people/children who need it whether it be your local church, your neighbours or any other group/charity where you can give back. Build a community and get involved.

5. Build platonic relationships with the opposite sex.

Men are great to have as friends. They have a completely different perspective on life and can often offer practical ways to solve problems. Building platonic relationships helps you learn how to relate to them in a healthy way and understand the male psyche. Men are also great to have around when you have some heavy lifting to do!

6. Get your house in order.

This includes:

-  your finances: pay off as much debt as you can. No debt? Build up your savings?

- your health: you want to lose those extra 10lbs – go for it, you don’t need a man before you do it.

- career: go for that job, take that extra class; develop yourself.

It’s about having a vision of where you want to go, who you are and where you want to be.  Establish the quality of your life now – it sets the standard for when he arrives.

7. Pray and wait joyfully

Enjoy where you are right now. Pray for your mate. Stop asking for him – pray for him. Have an air of expectancy and stay open to the possibilities of change. 

Never take the day for granted; have an attitude of gratitude’. I’ve mentioned this before but having a daily journal where you record the things you are thank you can really helpful you stay focus on being thankful rather than ‘woe is me’. Jessica over at From Marriage to Motherhood has written about the exact same thing. Live in the present and stay thankful.

What other tips can you think of for ‘while you are waiting’?

31 Days of Prayer for your man!

I know the month is almost halfway through, but a friend sent me this today and I really wanted to share it with you all.

Each day in the month of January, pray for your man wherever or whomever he might be. You do not have to be married or in a relationship to take this challenge; if you believe that there is a man out there for you, pray for him.

THE PRAYER CHALLENGE

Day 1
Pray that your husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before the Lord. Pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines—Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (2 Peter 3:18; Prov. 4:23)

Day 2
Pray that your husband’s relationship with God and His Word will bear fruit in his life. Pray that he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord. (Prov. 3:7, 9:10; Ps. 112:1)

Day 3
Pray that your husband will be humble and quick to agree with God about his sin. Pray that his heart will be tender toward the voice of the Lord. (Ps. 51:2-4; Micah 6:8)

Day 4
Pray that your husband will grow in leadership skills in your relationship—protecting and providing for you. Pray that he will lead you wisely and love you sacrificially, so that God will be glorified in your marriage. (Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:19)

Day 5
Pray that your husband will be faithful to his wedding vows. Pray that he will have a desire to cultivate your relationship as a sign of his loyalty and commitment to you, and as a picture of Christ’s love for the Church. (Prov. 20:6; Gen. 2:24)

Day 6
Pray that your husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness, especially the evils of the culture. Pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary, take a clear, strong stand against evil. (Prov. 27:12; John 17:15; 1 Cor. 10:12-13)

Day 7
Pray that your husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex. Pray that his heart will be pure and undivided in his commitment to you. (Prov. 6:23-24, 26; Rom. 13:14)

Day 8
Pray that your husband will work hard to provide for your family, to the best of his ability. Pray that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part of his character—persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Rom. 12:11; 1 Cor. 15:58)

Day 9
Pray that your husband handle finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting and investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord’s work. Pray that money will not become a source of discord in your family. (Prov. 23:4-5; Rom. 12:13; Heb. 13:5)

Day 10
Pray that your husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions. Pray that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never do anything that he needs to hide from others. (Prov. 20:7; 1 Tim. 1:5, 3:7; Eph. 6:10-12)

Day 11
Pray that your husband will have a humble, teachable spirit and a servant’s heart before the Lord. Pray that he will listen to God and desire to do His will. (Prov. 15:33; Eph. 6:6)

Day 12
Pray that your husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self control. Pray that your sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love. (Prov. 5:15, 18; 1 Cor. 7:3; Song of Solomon 7:10)

Day 13
Pray that your husband use practical skills to build your family and make wise decisions for your welfare. Pray that he will serve unselfishly. (Gal. 5:13; Phil. 2:3-4)

Day 14
Pray that your husband will speak words that build you and your family, and reflect a heart of love. Pray that he will not use filthy language. (Prov. 18:21; Eph. 4:29)

Day 15
Pray that your husband will choose his friends wisely. Pray that God will bring him men who will encourage his accountability before God, and will not lead him into sin. (Prov. 13:20; Prov. 27:17)

Day 16
Pray that your husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities. Pray that he will not live in bondage to any questionable habits or hobbies, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as he yields to the Spirit’s control. (1 Cor. 6:12, 10:31; 2 Tim. 2:4)

Day 17
Pray that your husband will enjoy his manliness as he patterns his life after Christ and strong men in the faith. Pray for his physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. (Eph. 3:16; 1 Peter 2:21; 1 Cor. 10:11)

Day 18
Pray that your husband will have an eternal perspective—living in light of eternity. Pray that he will reject materialism and temporal values and put God first in his life. (Matt. 6:33; Deut. 6:5; Eph. 5:16; Ps. 90:12)

Day 19
Pray that your husband will be patient and a man of peace. Pray that he will not give in to anger, but will allow the Holy Spirit to control his responses. (Rom. 14:19; Ps. 34:14)

Day 20
Pray that your husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. Pray that he will not entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in pornography. (Prov. 27:12; 2 Cor. 10:5)

Day 21
Pray that your husband will learn how to relax in the Lord and, in his greatest times of stress, find joy and peace in his relationship with God. Pray that he will submit his schedule to the Lord. (Neh. 8:10; Prov. 17:22; Ps. 16:11)

Day 22
Pray that your husband will practice forgiveness in your relationship and with others. Pray that he will recognize any roots of bitterness, and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to the Lord. (Eph. 4:32; Heb. 12:15)

Day 23
Pray that your husband will be a good father—disciplining his children wisely and loving them unconditionally. If he is not a father, pray that he will find a young man to mentor in the things of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; 2 Tim. 2:1-2)

Day 24
Pray that your husband will have a balanced life—that he will balance work and play. Pray that he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church. (Luke 2:52; Prov. 13:15)

Day 25
Pray that your husband will be courageous in his stand against evil and injustice, and that he will stand for the truth. Pray that he will protect you and your family from Satan’s attacks. (Ps. 31:24; Eph. 6:13; Ps. 27:14)

Day 26
Pray that your husband will discover and live his God-given purpose. Pray that he will offer all his dreams to the Lord, and pursue only those goals that will bring God glory and count for eternity. (Jer. 29:11; 1 Cor. 10:31)

Day 27
Pray that your husband will understand the importance of taking care of his body—the temple of the Holy Spirit—for the glory of God. Pray that he will practice self-control by making wise food choices, and get sufficient exercise to stay healthy. (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Cor. 6:19-20, 9:27)

Day 28
Pray that your husband will be a man of prayer. Pray that he will seek and pursue God in purposeful quiet times. (1 Thess. 5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5:16)

Day 29
Pray that your husband will surrender his time and talents to the Lord. Pray that his spiritual gifts will be manifest in his career, at church, and in your home. (Eph. 5:15-16; 1 Cor. 12:4, 7)

Day 30
Pray that your husband will serve God and others with pure motives. Pray that he will obey the Lord from his heart, and glorify Him in everything. (1 Cor. 10:13; John 7:17-18; Col. 3:23-24)

Day 31
Pray that your husband will recognize the lies of the Enemy in his life. Pray that his attitudes and actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God. (John 8:44; 2 Cor. 10:4-5)

Kindly reproduced from www.ReviveOurHearts.com

Friends Forever

Yesterday was the birthday of my very good friend SB.

I remember the first day we met, at our church summer picnic, I was scared of her! She has this presence about her and you definitely knew when she was in a room! Over the years as I have got to know her, I have learnt that her bark is much worse than her bite and she truly is a fabulous woman, selflessly caring for those around her.

She has supported me through ups and downs, provided me with laughs, corrected me when I'm wrong and even accompanied me on a nail course back in the day, when we were thinking about becoming nail technicians lol! She has also fed me on many occasions and I'm still waiting for her to teach me how to make rice and peas {Jamaican style}!

SB I adore you and thank you for your friendship. I wish the world for you and pray that God will move you higher and it will be a year of great abundance and blessings.

Happy Birthday SB! x

Proverbs 31: A Woman that fears the Lord

Before I start this post, one quick thing to mention. Even though the verses talk in the context of being a wife and mother, a lot of it is still relevant to those of us who are not yet married.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

So, as a Proverbs 31 woman, what does it mean to fear the Lord?

Psalm 111:10 tells us, fear of the Lord is the foundation of true wisdom. All who obey his commandments will grow in wisdom. (NLT)

We also know that the, 'fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment’. Proverbs 9:10

Is it talking about 'fear' as in being afraid in the negative sense. I don't think so. I believe it's more of a positive fear of reverence and respect for the Lord's greatness. The Proverbs 31 woman has an awe-filled, humble regard for her Creator and Lord. She knows God and honours Him above all else and because of this a woman who fears God…

- Is not anxious of the future

- Applies practical wisdom in all aspects of life

- She is strong, both physically and morally

- Will not live for herself alone but for others {especially her husband if she is married}

- She lives for the needy

or in other words...

Every other activity and quality of this woman is based on this all-essential trait:

i. Because she fears the Lord … she does her husband good.

ii. Because she fears the Lord … she works with willing hands.

iii. Because she fears the Lord … she buys a field and plants a vineyard. Her entrepreneurial ventures have integrity and purpose in serving her household.

iv. Because she fears the Lord … she cares for the poor and shares with those in need.

v. Because she fears the Lord … she can laugh at the days to come. She doesn't fear the unknown future.

vi. Because she fears the Lord ... she opens her mouth with wisdom. Her life and words instruct others.vii. Because she fears the Lord … she does not eat the bread of idleness. Her knowledge of God motivates her to work diligently.

Everything in her life is built on this and we should seek to build our lives around God and his priorities.

So how can we take the above and make it practical?

********

Further reading

A woman that fears the Lord, Now that is beautiful

A woman who fears the Lord Is to be praised  - John Piper

Proverbs 31:10-31 (Contemporary English Version)

In Praise of a Good Wife

¹⁰A truly good wife
   is the most precious treasure
   a man can find!
¹¹Her husband depends on her,
   and she never
   lets him down.
¹²She is good to him
   every day of her life,
¹³and with her own hands
   she gladly makes clothes.
¹⁴She is like a sailing ship
   that brings food
   from across the sea.
¹⁵She gets up before daylight
   to prepare food
   for her family
   and for her servants.
¹⁶She knows how to buy land
   and how to plant a vineyard,
¹⁷and she always works hard.
¹⁸She knows when to buy or sell,
   and she stays busy
   until late at night.
¹⁹She spins her own cloth,
²⁰and she helps the poor
   and the needy.
²¹Her family has warm clothing,
   and so she doesn't worry
   when it snows.
²²She does her own sewing,
   and everything she wears
   is beautiful.
²³Her husband is a well-known
   and respected leader
   in the city.
²⁴She makes clothes to sell
   to the shop owners.
²⁵She is strong and graceful, as well as cheerful
   about the future.
²⁶Her words are sensible,
   and her advice
   is thoughtful.
²⁷She takes good care
   of her family
   and is never lazy.
²⁸Her children praise her,
   and with great pride
   her husband says,
²⁹"There are many good women,
   but you are the best!"
³⁰Charm can be deceiving,
   and beauty fades away,
   but a woman
   who honours the LORD
   deserves to be praised.
³¹Show her respect--
   praise her in public
   for what she has done.

This Proverbs 31 women, is she for real?

When you read about the Proverbs 31 woman, how do you feel? I know in the past I have read it and been like ‘whoa, is she for real?’. Other times I read it and walk away feeling really inspired, ‘how can I be more like her’.

Earlier in the week, I listened to a teaching by Josh Harris, as part of his Proverbs series, titled ‘The Women of Valour’ and I got to view Proverbs 31 in a completely new light. He focused on four characteristics of the valiant women, in order of importance:

• She fears God
• She gives her life away
• She is capable
• She is influential

Proverbs 31 is a ‘joyful expression of womanly excellence, resourcefulness and skill’ and Josh says we should approach it with humility and faith. Humility in the fact that we recognise that it’s not all about me and God is already aware of my weaknesses and deficiencies already and by faith, knowing that God has good for me in his Word and there is a joy and blessing that come as you study his Word.

When we read any passage in the Bible, there are two questions we should ask ourselves:

1. What effect does God want this passage to have on me?

2. What does he want to accomplish through it?

Over the next week, I hope to talk through what I got out of this teaching and practical ways to apply it daily life.

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Options for you…

• Listen online or download an mp3 of the message
• Download a summary outline in PDF format.
• Use the following questions prepared by Don Devries to reflect on how to apply the message to your life.

1. A godly woman knows and fears the Lord. Is there anything you are living for--personal success, a husband, your children, etc.--more than you are living for God and His Kingdom?
2. Josh taught us that the Proverbs 31 woman is capable. How can this chapter stir godly ambitions for the Lord?
3. As Josh taught, the Proverbs 31 woman gives her life away. Is there need around you that the Lord is calling you to help meet?
4. Concerning godly womanhood, are you following what the world values or are you valuing what God says is praiseworthy?
5. In what one Proverbs 31 quality would you like to grow?
6. Men, how can you encourage, cherish and honour the values of womanhood described in Proverbs 31?

Visible Women meets…Banking

On Wednesday evening I was given the privilege to be on a panel for an event at Birmingham University.

Taken from their site…Visible Women (VW) is a women in leadership campaign. It aims to allow female students from over 110 universities across the UK to be the driving force in challenging the under-representation of women in the workplace. The campaign is run by the Student Action Team (SAT) made up of 16 students and recent graduates from across the UK making sure that the Visible Women campaign caters for the needs and aspirations of female students today.

The three-pronged campaign will look at ways in which to Motivate, Develop and Prepare female students across the UK; to reinforce equality of opportunity between men and women and to overcome the barriers of discrimination faced by women because of their sex or other external factors such as ethnicity or disability.

The campaign will:
> Showcase companies/organisations that encourage diversity
> Recognise senior female role models
> Create networking opportunities for students and recent graduates to successfully enter into the labour market.

The Visible Women Campaign is managed and delivered by Elevation Networks. EN is an independent charity and social enterprise which aims to bridge the gap between under-represented groups and industries.

Visible Women meets…are networking events which ‘provide a platform for the exchange of ideas, knowledge and advice about industries and the unique mix of graduate employees to senior managers under one roof provides a varied and broad perspective of career paths.’

Blurb from their site:

This will be an exclusive opportunity for a select number of our student network to meet with leading professionals in the field of banking.
It will give participants the chance to gain insight, one to one advice and a platform to share knowledge and learn new skills in an intimate networking environment.
The VW Campaign is run by the Student Action Team to cater for the needs of students and it is this point of difference that we seek to use as a means of being more accessible to our network and bridging the gap between them and potential employers.

I was on their panel for banking and had to talk about my career history and my experiences being a woman in the industry, as well as answer questions. I felt very honoured to be classed as a ‘leading professional’ and really enjoyed talking to the girls who attended. It seems ages ago since I was a student, but I can remember attending similar events and know the positive benefit they have.

I hope the girls who came found it useful!

*Update – here is a link to the article that was published about the event.