Emotions + worry = me

We’re 30 days out and I can’t quite believe where the time has gone. I mean June is practically around the corner and there is still so much to do.

Recently I have been experiencing a wealth of emotions and feelings. From being totally excited and ‘go-go-go’ to weepy and sad. It’s weird. I’m not sad at all about anything. Maybe just a little tired and feeling swamped under the pressure and missing Mr E but not sad. But last week I burst into tears and couldn’t stop crying. I think everything just got to me.

Last week I also had my first and hopefully last Bridezilla moment and hated myself for it. What’s the matter with me! I always said I wouldn’t turn into that women. SB has already warned me that if I start to display any signs of psycho-ness she will be walking. It’s like I have this innate desire for everything to be perfect when deep inside I know it can’t be, putting unnecessary pressure on myself.

Another thing is that I’m finding myself worrying a lot.

I worry that too many extra people will turn up and we won’t have enough space. I worry that there is so much to do and not enough time. I worry that people won’t enjoy themselves. I worry that I won’t fit into my dress {I have been in denial on this for too long!}. I worry that as we get closer to the day I’m not going to be able to cope with all the things that need to get done AND go to work AND be effective. Ughh!

I know I shouldn't worry and Matthew 6:25-27 reminds me of this fact.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

But it is hard.

Any advice?

July is going to be weird. Nothing to do. I’m kinda looking forward to it.

p.s. In other news, I got my exams results today. These are related to the professional qualifications I am currently doing. I took the exam on the 11th May but didn’t say anything to you guys for fear of failure and knowing in myself that I wasn’t as prepared as I wanted to be. But God in His mercy was ever faithful and I took home a score of 73%, comfortably passing. Thank you Jesus!