Project Wedding or Project What cont…

Happy Memorial Day to our American readers! This is a guest post from Mrs O.

Following on from my post last week about getting a brief and getting a goal for your wedding here is a practical exercise that we used to help us get our wedding ‘vision’.

The first step is to sit down and think about what your wedding means to you and your beau. I’d recommend sitting in separate corners of the room and answering the following (no conferring):

If I asked you to sum up your beau’s personality in 3 words, what would they be?

Tell me 3 interesting things about your beau – any interesting hobbies/achievements/goals?

Tell me 3 things that you love doing with your beau.

Tell me about the best wedding you have ever been to, using the following categories:

Ceremony:

Venue:

Food:

Atmosphere:

Music:

Highlight:

I would have changed...:

Imagine you are a guest at your own wedding and the next day, a friend says ‘I’m just about to get on the tube, but quickly, how was the wedding – 3 words go...’ What would you say:

This is essentially what we did, and the rest just seemed to flow...we worked out what we wanted individually and looked at where it matched up, and we came to some fabulous decisions (even if I do say so myself)! Our wedding was definitely not to everybody’s taste, but for us it was perfect.

In case you’re curious, our words were ‘friends’, ‘family’, and ‘fun’!

Get a brief, get a goal and then you can get a plan. Sure, the goal may change as you go along, but it’s better to have one in the first place! : ) If things do change, it’s all part of the fun!

Let me know how you get on with the exercise! Would love to hear if it is useful!

You can see what else Mrs O has to say over at her blog Planning, Praying and Playing, where she documents her mission to plan, pray and play her way through life. With a fine balance of humour, pretty and 'real-talk', she tells us what it's really like to be a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a 'tryna-b-Christian' and newest of all, a *wife*.

“Timothy Matthews”

Long before Mr E and I got together, my girlfriend, SB used to joke that I would end up with ‘Timothy Matthews’ because of how little I knew about Nigerian culture.

Timothy Matthews was the name we gave to the Oyibo man and all that came with it.

I was born in England and have lived here all my life. I have only visited Nigeria once, when I celebrated my first birthday and have vague memories of the trip. Mr E was born in Nigeria and has lived there all his life. He came to the UK to study and has been here ever since.

One of my dear readers recently sent me an email asking whether we faced any challenges given our cultural differences. Interesting question!

Growing up I often felt like a coconut {black on the outside and white on the inside}. I knew I wasn't white but I didn't have a lot of external black influences outside of my family and OFNC. My parents were great in telling us about Nigeria, teaching us some of the language and cooking the food etc but it wasn’t the same.

I was one of three black people at school and given that one of the other people was my sister, that’s not a lot of black people!. We went to a white church and I mainly had all white friends. {Side Note: Ever see that episode in Desperate Housewives when Gaby’s daughter Juanita doesn’t realise that she is Mexican. Carlos and Gaby can’t understand why, but then look around Wisteria lane and all they see are Caucasians.}

It wasn't until I left university that I began to have more black people in my social circle. I joined a black church and was shocked when SB, who is Jamaican knew more about my culture than I did. Hence the term Timothy Matthews. It was at that point that I knew I needed to re-engage with who I was and learn more about my roots.

Over the last few years, I have gradually learned to make the dishes {still lots to learn but we’re getting there}, have started to build my gele and ankara collection and know how to have a basic conversation in Igbo. I love our culture, our food, our clothing, our hospitality and while there are still many things I am learning I am enjoying being a ‘student’. I look forward to the day when I can speak Igbo fluently.

Mr E came to the UK and had to become accustomed to a different way of life too. No more house girls, no more drivers. He went to university and had to learn how to cook for himself, something that would be unheard of for a man in Nigeria. But he dealt with it and adjusted.

Despite our obvious cultural differences, Mr E and I discovered we had very similar upbringing because essentially Christianity came before culture. We both always went to church and Sunday school, learnt about the bible from an early age and each always prayed as a family. We were both taught about Godly values and we both grew up on Salty and Kids Praise, Sound of Music and the King and I. We both came from homes where education and integrity was important. But fundamentally God was the foundation and that has helped to provide common ground as we start to build our home.

Comparing the two cultures. The Nigerian way is all about reaching out and connecting. You know you can always stop by a Nigerian's house and there will always be food. You will always be welcome and you don’t even need to give notice! The English way is much more reserved, often insular, as if in a way people are too afraid to reach out. There is no way you could rock up without seeking permission for your visit beforehand.

The Nigerian way is very lassez faire and BPT {black people time} rules the day, whereas the western way, time is money and people like to compartmentalise things.

Family and community is everything is Nigeria, hence why our weddings are enjoyed by all whether or not you have an invitation. The guest list often exceeds 300+, but in England anything more than 80 is classed as a ‘large’ wedding.

In a society where the world is getting smaller and we mix with so many different cultures on a daily basis, from Day 1, Mr E and I want our children to know where they come from and to visit Nigeria frequently. We want them to be able to understand and speak Igbo, enjoy the food and know their roots, at the same time still appreciating the positive aspects of British culture.

I firmly believe it's about having a good level of understanding of who you are and getting the best from both worlds.

What cultural differences do you and your significant other share and how are you tackling them?

Image {Source}

p.s. Best wishes to Dawn over at Happy Nappy Bride who gets married tomorrow!

Weekly word: Worry

 

Following on from my earlier post…I’ve been thinking about what the word teaches us on worrying because obviously God does not want me to worry or have a spirit of fear, but to trust Him, knowing that everything will be okay. I do not want to be a faithless Christian as ‘faith does not live in the house of certainty’.

Worry is derived from the German word “WURGEN” meaning to choke or strangle…everything that does not come from faith is sin. Romans 14:23

Worry is the sin of distrusting the promises and power of God.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV

Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Matthew 6:25

Stop the strangle-hold of worry…

1) I will do what God asks me to do.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. James 1:22

Think on the right things. Do what is wise.

2) I will give God what I cannot do.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

I will do what God asks me to do. I will give God what I cannot do.

3) No matter what happens I will trust God.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself... Matthew 6:33-34

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

I will do what God asks me to do. I will give God what I cannot do. No matter what happens, I will trust God.

What is your biggest worry? What is God asking you to do about your biggest worry?

How can you practically and spiritually cast your cares and worries on God? {You might discuss a scriptural promise that speaks directly to your worry.}

Read Proverbs 3:5-6. How can you apply that verse to your greatest worries?

Source {Lifechurch.tv via You Version }

Emotions + worry = me

We’re 30 days out and I can’t quite believe where the time has gone. I mean June is practically around the corner and there is still so much to do.

Recently I have been experiencing a wealth of emotions and feelings. From being totally excited and ‘go-go-go’ to weepy and sad. It’s weird. I’m not sad at all about anything. Maybe just a little tired and feeling swamped under the pressure and missing Mr E but not sad. But last week I burst into tears and couldn’t stop crying. I think everything just got to me.

Last week I also had my first and hopefully last Bridezilla moment and hated myself for it. What’s the matter with me! I always said I wouldn’t turn into that women. SB has already warned me that if I start to display any signs of psycho-ness she will be walking. It’s like I have this innate desire for everything to be perfect when deep inside I know it can’t be, putting unnecessary pressure on myself.

Another thing is that I’m finding myself worrying a lot.

I worry that too many extra people will turn up and we won’t have enough space. I worry that there is so much to do and not enough time. I worry that people won’t enjoy themselves. I worry that I won’t fit into my dress {I have been in denial on this for too long!}. I worry that as we get closer to the day I’m not going to be able to cope with all the things that need to get done AND go to work AND be effective. Ughh!

I know I shouldn't worry and Matthew 6:25-27 reminds me of this fact.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

But it is hard.

Any advice?

July is going to be weird. Nothing to do. I’m kinda looking forward to it.

p.s. In other news, I got my exams results today. These are related to the professional qualifications I am currently doing. I took the exam on the 11th May but didn’t say anything to you guys for fear of failure and knowing in myself that I wasn’t as prepared as I wanted to be. But God in His mercy was ever faithful and I took home a score of 73%, comfortably passing. Thank you Jesus!

Singleness and dating

Bianca Juarez is one of my favourite Christian speakers/teachers. She has a blog called In the Name of Love which I read daily and after over six years of singleness she is now getting married and is planning her wedding in just 4 months!!!

Bianca keeps it real in everything that she says which is why I love her so much and find her so inspiring. She has this really great quote which she uses when referring to dating bad boys…

Girl: But he’s so hot.

Bianca: So is hell! {Makes me laugh every time!}

Here is a recent video of hers where she talks about singleness, giving her top 5 dating tips. If you’re single have a listen, if you’re not still have a listen and then pass the info to your single friends.

Enjoy!

Hook A Sista' Up from Bianca Juarez on Vimeo.

You can read the background to this vlog over at (in)courage.

p.s. if you didn’t know she is the twin sister to wedding photographer extraordinaire Jasmine Star

Project Wedding or Project What?

This is guest post from Mrs O.

You’re supposed to be the captain of Project W, but before you can make a plan, you need to know what you’re doing. Yes, you know you’re getting married, and yes that means you’re planning a wedding but how?

You haven’t done it before, people are bombarding you with questions, ‘are you having roses or tulips’ and you haven’t even set a date... ‘are you having your hair up or down?’ – You don’t know!!! All you know is that you want your wedding to be yours, unique and chic, but what does that mean?

So, being internet-savvy, you googled ‘unique wedding’ and it came back with a gazillion images and blogs,  and you’re sure you’ve seen them all already on The Knot/Martha Stewart/Style Me Pretty, so they can’t be that unique can they.

You’re still confused. You googled ‘latest wedding trends’, just to get ahead of the pack, but alas you saw that someone else has ‘done’ a ferrero rocher tower at their wedding! Whatever will you do?! You can’t have cupcakes because your sister had them 5 years ago, you can’t make your own biscuits because embarrassingly, you can’t bake! Ok, so how will you make your wedding 'unique'?!

I too was on this nonsense spiral, until I realised (just in the nick of time) that it’s not about making your wedding unique but it’s about personalising it and making it yours... not so that every guests will say ‘wow, I haven’t seen that before’, but so that they can say ‘that is SO Mr and Mrs O (replace as appropriate), how fabulous’.. right?

I suppose the 'uniqueness' of your day depends on how unique you really are... are you bit quirky, a bit of a fashionista or a simple conventional gal?! There is no right answer!

Just for a few moments, back away from your wedding tv/big fat fabulous addiction, log out of the wedding forum, where you are called ‘excitedb2b’ and step away from CosmoBride... heed this little bit of advice...

GET A BRIEF...GET A GOAL and figure out just WHAT it is that you’re doing?

In my humble opinion, planning a wedding is just like ‘finding your beau’, it won’t work until you know yourself. Your likes, your dislikes, your must haves, your ‘could survive without its’... you know what I mean.

I have a small exercise up my sleeve that Mr O and I used during our wedding planning. I’ve also recommended it to a few couples and have had positive feedback. Tune in next week for details.

In the meantime, what are you doing to make your wedding ‘yours’?

You can see what else Mrs O has to say over at her blog Planning, Praying and Playing, where she documents her mission to plan, pray and play her way through life. With a fine balance of humour, pretty and 'real-talk', she tells us what it's really like to be a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a 'tryna-b-Christian' and newest of all, a *wife*.

Happy Monday! Showers, invites and guest bloggers

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

The weather here in England right now is HOT HOT HOT! If it continues, I can’t imagine what it will be like next month for the wedding!

This weekend the lovely ladies at my old church, threw me a Bridal Shower, which was so lovely. It was held at my friend/wedding coordinator’s house Alex, {who was a wonderful host btw}. I will talk more about it in another post, but I had a really great afternoon, seeing all my old church friends and they gave me lots of great advice and tips. Thank you women of Calvary International Church.

Our invitations are finally out and RSVPs are starting to roll in already! Yes – after 24 hours!  Oh the wonders of technology and super-efficient guests! It’s all about online RSVP folks.

I also chose my bolero and it is being shipped this week. You will have to wait until the big day to see which one I decided on!

Guest Poster

I would like to re-introduce to you my friend, Mrs O.

You might remember her from the Real Wedding feature I did a couple of months back. She is going to be helping me with blogging duties running up to the wedding.

Being a recent bride herself she is going to bring tips, advice and discussion about planning your wedding and life ‘on the other side’. Hope you enjoy her posts here, every Monday.

For the rest of the week, I will be…

- telling you all about my lovely Bridal Shower

- talking about cultural differences

- showing you the invites themselves

- answering a reader question about partner vs family

and keeping you up to date with all the wedding planning shenanigans.

I will leave you with a teaser picture from Saturday, which is of my lovely cake made by Pastor’s wife. It even had our wedding monogram on it and was very tasty {even though I probably shouldn’t be eating cake right now}!

Have a great week all!

p.s. Congratulations to Cupcake Wedding, who got married this weekend!

32 days and counting!!!!

Weekend Wedding Love: DIY

I did a post last year about our wedding monograms which I designed in PowerPoint! They were my first DIY project and I hoped to use them on our printed material.

Since then I have got a lot more familiar with Photoshop and decided to update our monograms, as the others I did felt a little stale.

Our invites are now finally on route to guests, so I present to you the 2010 editions…

This one went on our wedding invites

Haven’t made up my mind where I want to use this one

For the reception:

Fonts used:

Freebooter Script – our names in the last monogram

High Tower Text – all the main text

Fleurons {Dingbat} – for the image behind the ‘E’ in the last monogram. It is lower case ‘m’

Edwardian Script – for the swirly ‘E’

What do you think?

Words of hope and future

 

 

 

 

I found  this on You Version, the online interactive bible and I found it really encouraging. Hope you do too.

I've collected some verses to build a life upon. Here goes:

God is all I need in all things: "My loving kindness and my fortress, My high tower and my deliverer, My shield and the One in whom I take refuge, Who subdues my people under me." - [Ps. 144:2]

Sometimes I can't see how the things I'm facing can ever be considered a good thing: "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." - [Rom. 8:28]

And sometimes life presents me with insurmountable challenges: "Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." - [Rom. 8:37]

I know that nothing I face is bigger than Jesus, the one who gave His life for me and now lives His life inside of me: "Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth," - [Phil. 2:9-10]

When I doubt whether or not I can step up to the challenge I'm presented with, -or I doubt the whether or not what I desire is the right thing for me: "for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure." - [Phil. 2:13]

I know that nothing else compares to the Creator of the universe, my Father: "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" - [Rom. 8:31]

And thank God that my freedom and salvation was not bought with things that lose it's value over time, but with the eternally priceless blood of His Son. "knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot." - [1. Pet. 1:18-19]

God already gave me everything through His Sons death. "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?" - [Rom. 8:32]

The base of every other promise made to me by God, the gospel in two verses: I'm dead, Christ lives in me, He lives through me, He created me all anew and it's all through the grace of God. Jesus did not pay the highest price possible out of ignorance, but out of necessity.

Nothing I can ever manage to do will ever measure up, it's all through Christ. "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain." - [Gal. 2:20-21]

What I'm left with at the end of each day, God's heart towards me each morning and His promise to me: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you." - [Jer. 29:11]

Yeah, life is good.

Though the price for all this was my own ‘death’, I now realize that the life I led before was no life.

Not really.

Happy Friday!

Titus 2 - learning from others

This weekend just gone, I travelled down south to spend time with some friends of ours. They're actually friends of Mr E but over the past two years they have become 'our' friends.

They have been married for over 4 years and have two amazingly gorgeous twins, who I had a real blast getting to know, with another on the way.

Titus 2 is a great chapter, which teaches us that we should learn from the 'older' women to be 'good homemakers, who put their husbands first'. I went there to get to know them better and also to learn from them because they always seem to have pearls of wisdom whenever I speak to them.

³Tell the older women to behave as those who love the Lord should. They must not gossip about others or be slaves of wine. They must teach what is proper, ⁴so the younger women will be loving wives and mothers. ⁵Each of the younger women must be sensible and kind, as well as a good homemaker, who puts her own husband first. Then no one can say insulting things about God's message.

A while back I wrote the 'telling it how it is' post, where I spoke about how I appreciated couples who keep it real. They definitely did that and I was able to learn a lot in the short space of time I was with them. Its also good to watch other couples and see how they interact with each other.

Some of their great advice included the following:

- It starts with your relationship with God. Ensure that it is spot on, otherwise your relationship with your spouse will suffer. The devil looks for ways to tamper with this relationship, so be on guard.

- Care for their soul. In marriage while you love your spouse, you should genuinely care for their soul. This will come into play when you have arguments etc. Be mindful of what you say and learn to let things go.

- A wise woman builds her home. Nuff said!

- Pray {all the time and for each other, all the time}

- Don't let the flesh take over {selfishness, pride, lust etc}

- Know your priorities - family is first

- Know your limits. We're not superheroes {this one is for the ladies!}

- Husbands should love their wives with understanding.

- kids change EVERYTHING. They will change YOU.

One of other reasons why I had such a great weekend {which helped me forget about the horrible cold I had} was that it was so nice to be around family again. It helps you put things into perspective when you're sat having a conversation about life with two 3 year olds!

If you have the opportunity to spend time with families and other married couples, jump on it. You will be surprised with what you learn and you will definitely leave encouraged and blessed!

Weekend wedding love: Remembering the end game

Here is something I wrote a couple of weeks back, when I was having a bit of a rough day. Sometimes through it all, you need to remember the end game!

The Road to Marriage…

The road to marriage is hard. There are fights, there are tears, there are laughs, there are more fights. This whole period of time is about evolving, taking two very separate people and making them one.

There are bits of my personality that are coming out which I don’t like. I mean who is this person I see in the mirror. Sometimes I don’t recognise her.

The road to marriage opens old wounds, old hurts, old regrets. Things I thought had gone away, come back to the surface. Never forgotten, but gone away and it has be incredibly scary having to face them again.

The road to marriage has helped me appreciate so many things that before I didn’t really notice or even pay attention to before.  In sickness and in health, For richer for poorer. Till Do us part. How real these words are to me, right now.

The road to marriage is highlighting to me that it is no longer about me, but it is about us. Wedding starts with ‘we’ right!

The road to marriage is about redefining boundaries. Boundaries with your parents, boundaries with your friends, boundaries with each other. My love for my family has not changed but my loyalties have to and that has been hard. Marriage is about building a new family and just like a new baby it needs to be nurtured, taken cared of and protected.

The road to marriage is not what I expected. It isn’t always smiles. It can be incredibly frustrating. I have cried. I have laughed. You have to compromise and you have to pick your battles. It’s also not about taking sides but about doing what is right, for us.

On the road to marriage, it can be so easy to forgot why we’re doing all this.

I know it will be worth it in the end.

Have a great weekend!

Photo {Jide Alakija}

Dressing the shoulders

I have been searching high and low for something suitable to compliment my wedding dress as I want to cover my shoulders when we’re in church.

Enter super crafty Joy Kelley, who I first discovered as Mrs Poodle on Weddingbee. Not only did she handcraft some amazing items for her wedding, which took place last month {everything you see below she made},

but she also wore a fabulous purple bolero over her dress, which when I saw, decided it would be perfect to wear with my dress in church.

After a quick exchange of emails {she is lovely btw} I discovered she made her bolero as well and she is now making mine! Joy is officially part of Team Ace and I am her first bolero customer {and international customer at that}!

Now I’m not as brave as Joy to wear a purple or a red bolero {mine will match my dress}, but tonight she sent me two styles to choose from.

So we have Style 1…

or Style 2…

Which is your favourite?

{First two images Next Exit Photography, the rest from Joy.}

Letting your guests help build your home

 

People have varying views and opinions on gift registries. Should you or shouldn’t you. Should you mention it in your invitations/on your website etc. Is it materialistic having one.

For us we decided to be practical and realistic. As soon as we announced the date, we were asked where we were registered as people wanted to know. From a guest perspective it definitely helps me when it comes to buying gifts for the happy couple. I’d rather bless them with something they need, rather than what I think they need.

Thinking about the different view points on registries, Meg over at A Practical Wedding wrote a good post about the meaning of the registry, when she was struggling as to what route to take…

“And then I got it. The registry has nothing to do with the wedding. Our great-aunts and grandmothers are on to something when they insist that you register so they know what pots you want. The registry is not about the wedding, the registry is about the marriage. For us, we hope that means a long life with a passel of kids, a ton of family gatherings, and lots of cooking. So for us, that’s what a registry is about – letting our friends and loved ones build that home for us. The registry is like a barn raisin”.

So for our friends and loved ones who kindly want to help us build our home, we have chosen to register at House of Fraser. There were many places we considered, Debenhams, Selfridges, John Lewis but after researching and thinking about what we needed, where we actually shopped, House of Fraser came up trumps. The girls there have been super helpful along the way.

For those of you coming behind…

My top 10 registry tips

01. When you go for your scanning appointment, wear flat shoes! We went after work and foolishly I chose chose style over comfort. Bad mistake. You will be walking, walking and walking some more. Comfort is key.

02. Make sure you eat before you go. After about half an hour we were beginning to get distracted as it was dinner time, our tummies were rumbling and we hadn’t eaten. You quickly lose the excitement of using a scanner gun when you need to eat!

03. Have a rough idea of the sorts of things you want to add on your list. Trust me, it makes it easier when you’re walking round a huge department store.

04. Have a look at what the end user will see. We like Next, but because it was such a pain to register our gifts online and the final list, was just that; a list with no pictures. It wasn’t very appealing. We decided to ask for vouchers from Next instead. I know from personal experience of buying wedding gifts, I tend to go to the list that is most visual. It helps with the purchasing.

05. Choose a store which you actually like! Seem obvious but you would be surprised with the amount of people who register at stores because it looks ‘cool’.  Don’t choose somewhere because everyone else is or because you feel you have to go there. If you’re an Argos person, register at Argos. If you like Selfridges register there. John Lewis is a popular choice here in the UK, with excellent customer, but I’ve never shopped there in my life, except to buy wedding gifts for other people.

They do make great adverts though!

06. If going for a scanning appointment is not your thing, most wedding lists will allow you to add your items online. The staff at House of Fraser have been fantastic so far, answering any questions we have, responding back to emails very quickly.

07. If you’re not a fan of China and suchlike, there is no need to put it on the list. Again at the end of the day, you will either use it or you won’t and in this age of de-cluttering you want every item to have a place and a use.

08. Don’t limit yourself to the obvious. Some wedding lists give the opportunity for your guests to buy experiences. On our list we have included a weekend away for two at the Malmaison Hotel. Something a bit different but a great little gift for when we settle in married life and want to get away.

09. Choose items in different prices ranges so that your guests have options. Also register for enough things so that your guests have options. To help combat this we have kindly asked for gift cards for other stores as well if that's easier for people

10. Check what happens after the event. How long does the list remain open for? When do they deliver the items? What happens if you need to change something? All good questions before you sign up!

Enjoy!

Any more tips from those seasoned pro’s out there?

Juggling it all

 

45 days to go...

Now that we’re getting in to the thick of things, I often wonder how people who have gone before me did it! And go to work or school! And have a life! And sleep!

Right now I am juggling work, church, wedding and job/home hunting all within the next couple of weeks and sometimes it can be overwhelming the amount of things that need to be done. However, here are some things that help me…

1. Learn to say no. This one is particularly hard as I love to get involved in things that I enjoy, but now I just don't have the time to commit to things properly. Until the wedding is over and even post wedding, I need to mindful of the things I say ‘yes’ to. My new family comes first.

2. Go to bed earlier. This is so that I can get up earlier. It's amazing how much stuff you get done in the morning before your day has started. It’s so peaceful as well!

3. Delegate. Our wedding is being held in a city where neither of us live, so we have enlisted the help of some great friends and family to help us with some of the logistics, as they are on ground. In this type of situation you can't be overly 'protective' of things, otherwise nothing will get done. You just need to give clear instructions and trust that people will do what you have asked them to do. So far, so good.

4. Break bigger tasks in smaller bite size chunks. Sometimes a task can seem unmanageable or too big to complete, but by breaking it into smaller chunks it can split over the course of the day/week and it doesn’t seem so humongous. Like now our biggest wedding to do is ‘get out the invitations’. Within that is checking all the addresses and names we have, writing them all out, addressing all the envelopes etc. Smaller tasks of a much bigger task. Even within some of those tasks there are bite size opportunities, making it all more manageable.

5. Stay organised. Google calendar is a God send for me. I put everything that I am doing, even reminders into it and it syncs with my Blackberry so every time I look at my phone I know if there is something I need to do, person to call, bills to pay etc. I also try to plan ahead and block out time to do certain things.

6. Six things. I read a good tip somewhere that every night you should right down the 6 things you MUST get done the next day. The following day you just focus on that list only, giving you a great sense of accomplishment in the process.

Finally, but most importantly - pray and ask God to guide and give wisdom. This post on Who's in charge of your schedule? is a helpful reminder of this.

Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Psalms 16:3

What things are you currently juggling and how do you manage it all?

{Image source}

Weekend Wedding Love: Joy, laughter + Plan B

When all is said and done, I know that on the day there will be some things that won’t go 100% to plan but we’ve made the decision to just enjoy ourselves regardless and laugh about it later!

In the grand scheme of things will it really affect our marriage if one particular aspect of the wedding is not perfect?

Not.one.bit.

What is marriage anyway?

Marriage is about joy…

Marriage is about laughter…

Marriage is about sharing…

Marriage is about caring…

Marriage is about commitment…

Marriage is about love…

‘Clothe thyself with love, which binds us all in perfect harmony’ - Colossians 3:14

Have a great weekend!

Photo {Jide Alakija}

Destiny

Last Friday following my post on 'A different path', one of my lovely readers Seun Sho asked an interesting question in comments…

I do wonder though, do you think a different path would still have led you to Mr E. Is it not destiny? I've been involved in lots of conversations about this and still don't know the answer or whether there is one, for that matter. So I don't suggest you know the answer either, just an interesting thought.

Her comment got me thinking.

Do we all each have a specific destiny in life which God has for us? I believe so, yes.

Will we still achieve it if we choose different paths in life?

Let’s discuss.

I will do a follow up post next week.

6 ways to be influential women in marriage

A while back I read the book 'The Man Whisperer’ by Rick Johnson. A thought provoking book if ever I saw one. It made me realise just how influential we woman can be in our marriages.
Here are 6 areas the book tells us that we can be influential as women in our relationships:

1. Encourage other men in his life
How often than not, do we mix with other couples. We should develop relationships with wives of good men. Iron sharpens iron and we become like the people we surrounded ourselves with.

2. Encourage spiritual leadership
This can be done through prayer, asking him to say grace, asking him spiritual questions, encouraging retreats.

3. Help him to be a better dad
As a wife, you are his greatest asset as a father. Provide him with information about the emotional lives and challenges of your children that he would not be aware of without your support. Also edify him as  a father and leader in the home – this is hugely powerful in garnering the respect of his children. As wives you are an excellent barometer to help him gauge how well he is doing as a father. He needs to know what the needs of his children are and when does something well.

4. Dream with your husband
Ask him about his dreams. Encourage him to discover something he is passionate about. Ask the questions ‘If time and money were no object, what would you want to spend the rest of your life doing?’. Even if he never acts on his dreams, it is important for a man to have them.

5. Watch out for his health
When he is sick, make sure he goes to the doctor. You want him with you for a long time! We all know what men are like with ‘man-flu’, so when he’s sick, nurture him – TLC is a good remedy. Make sure he eats a healthy diet, nutritious food is in his best interest of his long term health.
Make sure he regularly takes scheduled time off work – holidays and time away from work keep him falling into health risk. Remind him that whilst you appreciate his hard work and all the hours he puts in at the office, you want to spend time with him even more.

6. Pray with and for your husband
Pray for his work, that it will be productive and fulfilling to him. Pray for the temptations he will face {lust, stealing, cheating, compromising of principles – it all starts with small steps}
Pray for wisdom and discernment. Wisdom can help your husband in all aspects of his life. The wiser he becomes, the more benefits the family reaps as a whole.
Thanks God for providing you with a good man. Whatever his faults he loves you so much and he would be willing to give his life for you. Be grateful for what you have. 

Pray that God would show me how best to love, nurture and support my husband as part of a team. Lord, bind us together in a strong, satisfying marriage relationship. Amen

Want to Relate..?

OFNC {Overseas fellowship of Nigerian Christians} is an organisation I have grown up with. My parents met there as students. I even met Mr E there at one of the Youth Weekends. Next month {18th –20th June} the 18-30s Group are hosting Relate, a weekend relationship conference.

About the Conference

Life is about relationships; with God, with your spouse, with friends & family, and with work colleagues.

At ‘Relate’ , through a number of seminars and workshops we will be examining these relationships; with the goal of infusing health and strength to our present and future relationships, as God intends.

At Relate we will also praise and magnify the Lord, expressing our thanks and reliance on Him through music and songs.

The weekend will end with the ‘Relate’ ball! A wonderful opportunity to celebrate our relationships, both old and new.

There are some wonderful speakers lined up and the whole weekend costs £135 including accommodation.

For all you UK based readers, Relate is taking place in Buckinghamshire at the lovely De Vere White hotel.

For more info and to book your place please visit the website.

You can also join the OFNC 18-30 Facebook group.

Letting God choose…

Weekly word is where I share with you the lessons that God is teaching me in my life.

Hope you will be blessed.

In Genesis 13 we are told of the story of how Abram and Lot decided to go their separate ways and Lot was given first option to chose the land.

“Lot looked round and saw that the whole Jordan Valley, all the way to Zoar, had plenty of water, like the Garden of the Lord.”

It continues in verse 12…

So Lot chose the whole Jordan Valley for himself and moved towards the East…and Lot settled among the cities in the valley and camped near Sodom, whose people were wicked and sinned against the Lord.

Lot’s choice of land was based on the external. He failed to see what was beneath the surface; wickedness and he lost everything because of it.

Abram on the other hand, let God chose for him. By letting God choose which direction I should take in a situation, I confidently acknowledge that I trust Him and that He is in control.

Our best course is always to let God choose and follow his direction, which can be difficult if like me, you like to be in control of situations. But I should always remember that God’s choices for me are prompted by infinite wisdom and love.

For many of you reading this, you might be trusting God for a husband or a wife right now. It can be easy to want to choose someone based on what you see on the ‘external’. Now this is not referring to the physical appearance but what we humans see with our own eyes. It can be especially hard when you don’t feel God is working quick enough, but God sees all things and His ways are not our ways – Isaiah 55:8.

However here are some things to remember {in any situation}…

Remember who God is.

He is our loving Father, our Provider, our Protector who constantly forgives. He loves us unconditionally and will continue to love us forever. He wants the very BEST for us.

Know that He has it covered.

• For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future - Jeremiah 29:11.
• And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose - Romans 8:28
• The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delights in his way - Psalm 37:23

Patience is key in all of this.

Do not try to orchestrate things, pretending to let God choose {I am guilty of this}. God cannot be mocked and His timing is the best. You don’t want to miss out on what He for you, because you were looking in the wrong direction.

If you have already made choices today that you know are not God led, it is not too late to make a u-turn. God loves us and as we see in the story of the prodigal son, He will always welcome us back with open arms.

God gives His best to those who leave the choice to Him. Are you getting God’s best?

Celeb Bridal

Imagine if these gorgeous gowns were bridal wear! Such amazing detail on both.

Jennifer Lopez is wearing Zuhair Murad and Anne Hathaway in Valentino. Both attended the Costume Institute Gala Benefit at The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC earlier this week.

Images {Daily Mail}

Gorgeous DIY invites…for free

Looking for some gorgeous invites for your wedding or next event?

Don’t want to pay the earth?

Check out these two sites where you can download the template, add your info and print yourself.

And the catch? Well there is no catch.

They’re all for free.

Love.it.

Download and Print {images above}

Wedding Chicks - Free DIY templates

Happy Monday! Productive…

Don’t you just love productive weekends!

This weekend we…

Spoke to the Rev at the church about our service

Paid our deposit on our venue

Decided on where we are going to hold our Thanksgiving service on Sunday

Sorted out the grooms attire {they will look dashing!}

Saw the first look of the bridesmaid dresses which are being made {thanks sis, the wonders of blackberry messenger}

Chose our gele for the ase-obi

Measured our fingers for our wedding rings

Productive or what!

After lots of to-ing and fro-ing with our printer {aka Dad}, our invites go to print on Tuesday. Really pleased with how they’re shaping up.

How was your weekend?

Weekend Wedding Love – Looking pretty

"On your wedding day you should look like yourself at your most beautiful." ~ Bobbi Brown

The bible tells that Esther spent 12 months making herself look beautiful for the King. Now while I won’t be dousing myself in myrrh, I will be spending the next 8 weeks focusing on ‘being my most beautiful’.

Presently I am…

- taking vitamins which include: ‘hair, skin and nails’ and Omega 3 Fish Oils which I hear is good for your skin

- drinking lots of water

- cleaning my make up off at night {should be a given, but I am very lazy and don’t do it every night}. Also not a big fan of facials since I had a major allergic reaction last year, so tend to do my own stuff at home.

- conditioning treatments on my hair every fortnight

- weekly manicures at home

Now I recognise I need to start exercising. So I will be getting my running shoes out.

I’m also practicing wearing contact lenses as I don’t want to have to wear glasses on the big day.

Any other useful things I can be doing over the next two months?

Photo {Jide Alakija}