Guest Post: A Beautiful Math - Two = One Flesh

This is a guest post written from the lovely Jaycee from Light-A-Lamp.

Seasons change. Sometimes for the better, other times for worse. My season changed for the better after getting hitched on December 26^th, 2009 to the love of my life. It was a beautiful change. Someone once told me, Marriage is sweet. That line has sort of become my mantra. We got married on a sunny day in Lagos, and after a few days travelled back to face the harsh winter weather in the United States.

Sometimes I’m cuddled up close enough to hear his heart beating, and we start a conversation. Sometimes we split the conversation into two pieces and take different sides. Still, I sit still and try to see his point of view. In many of our lovely discussions, I’ve come to realize that I’ve grown into this woman that I never knew I’d be. The Math of marriage, 2=1, is true. Marriage has done something to me. It has taken me and made me a better listener. It has gotten a hold of my restlessness and made me a calmer woman. It has eliminated stubbornness, and in its place respect has been given.

In my short span of 6 months as a new wife, these are some nuggets of wisdom I and hubby have successfully unravelled.

1) Two Really Become One: It was so shocking to find out that two of us actually morphed into one person. This phenomenon cannot be explained by science or any form of technology. It just happened. I no longer exist by myself, and it’s the same with him. In every decision, both of our inputs count. It got so hilarious that I felt weird taking a cookie from the cookie jar without asking him first and without offering him a cookie as well. Yeah, that weird. Well, I’ve stolen some cookies a few times without asking, but it felt out of place not to share them with him. Ephesians 5:31, “Two shall become one flesh.”

2) Our Words are Powerful: My husband always says that our words are like eggs, which once broken cannot be put back together again. Our words are more precious than gold. They are priceless. In a marriage, this proverb is of high importance. Why? The reason is that the person you get angry with the most is the one who’s the closest to your heart. What we don’t realize is that even in those moments of anger, we can curtail the words that come out. Our words have a long-lasting effect, especially words thrown out in anger. Marriage has taught me how to control the way I speak, because the bottom line (no matter what) is that we love each other, and words should not be spilled in anger which might incorrectly show the opposite. There can be love even in anger, and there can be romance after a disagreement. James 3:5, “Even so, the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!”

3) Follow the Leader: We are leaders in several spheres in life, but there’s only one leader in a marriage. There cannot be two heads. Someone once said, “The husband is the head, and the wife the neck that turns the head in the right direction.” As humoristic as the quote was meant to be, it exhibits a truth. The husband is the head and the wife is the person who helps him to be all that he needs to be as the head. Genesis 2:18 says that God made the woman to be a “helper.” He is my head, and every final decision for our household depends on his words, with mine being in assistance. In those areas where he gives me the full reign, I gladly make the final decisions. But there’s nothing as silly as trying to usurp that spiritual leadership that I was not ordained to have. It is a Godly thing, an orderly thing, something to be done in love, and certainly for a great purpose. As the head, he also helps me become everything I’m meant to be, which is what a good leader does. Ephesians 5:22-33 says that wives are to submit to their husbands as the “head,” and husbands are to “love” their wives as their own bodies.

4) Spending Time Together: Nothing beats that special time when we ignore everything else going on around the world except our own heartbeats. In the silence we grow together. I’ve learned that having a “special time” every single day is necessary. It could be by choosing a movie together or by going to a park close to a lake. In those moments, feelings from the day’s activities are poured out, and we help each other unravel those feelings (happy or sad). It still amazes me when I find out something new about him. I often feel like I’m inside a discovery cove of a great amusement park, with lots of exciting discoveries inside.

I’m still learning. I’m still on this discovery journey. But there’s nothing as beautiful as growing with someone you love beside you for the rest of your days.

Image {Jaycee’s wedding day!}