Guest Post: Reality as a Newly-Wed!

Written by Downtheaisle who has been a great blogger friend over the last few weeks. Sending encouraging emails and praying for me during this time. As a fellow newlywed, she knows how it is!

I can't stop thinking about it all: how well the day went, how beautiful I was and how colourful the occasion was.

I have fleeting glimpses of specific moments the walk down the aisle, the kiss, the vows (I barely remember this, I rushed it, reading it all over again I begin to realize the gravity of the words I said just as mere words), the exchange of rings, the dancing, and how I did not taste the food!

I married my prince charming, my honeymoon was a blast, it should be a tradition every year in our marriage.

I’m back -- and not just back from our trip.  Back to 'normal' life, back to my new home, it feels strange. The thought of marriage makes me feel older, more responsible.  A life where I am constantly reminded of my new status, the society expects so much from me already, my in-laws expect a bump in the next 2 months, my parents can’t wait to become expectant grand-parents. The new weight on my fingers-the rock and the metal!!! An absolute beauty and treasure! It was carefully picked. It’s one of the symbols that reminds me that this is forever.

“How long is this forever? I wonder”. “What if I can’t go the whole forever?”

Now, my schedules are kinda clear, no vendors to meet,  no marriage counselling..., no venues to visit, no more wedding sites for inspiration. I have suddenly become the newly-wed!

This is it!!! The Marriage Scene begins.

Now, it dawns, the only reason I had planned and saved so hard for a day's event is because of this scene...the marriage!

Now, I scurry to the internet, ‘survival tips for newly-weds’, ‘My first week as a newly-wed’, ‘Furnishing our new home’ , ‘our first home-made dinner’ etc, etc.

Now, I am stuck with nurturing my own experiences?

· No two marriages are the same, learn to stay with what works for you.

· Communication and talking are two different things.

· Sex is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. It is more spiritual than physical. It represents a giving of one’s self. I expect my spouse to tell me how well I am doing sexually.

· Marriage gives you a life-long opportunity to spend time together. There's never been a better time to get to know each other better.

· You will need to master the art of compromise, it’s not as easy as it sounds, in fact I hate it, but you know what, its creates a middle ground.

· Marriage makes me feel older...another feeling I hate!!! Why can’t I rewind to 10yrs earlier.

· Talk about how money is spent, if joint-account works fine! If not...avoid it. It may be right for accountability, but if it makes you spy over your spouse and may leave distrust then my advice...avoid it!

· Let everyone including your in-laws and parents know how important your spouse is to you.

· It feels good to overhear my husband mention ‘wife’ over the phone, but that word makes me feel responsible for another human being.

Need I say more, marriage is honourable, happy endings are still very common!

I am working at my own happy ending…

What’s yours?