Guest Post: Courtship

This is a guest post from Le Dynamique Professeur who is a wonderful blogger friend and encourager. I asked him to write on this topic following his comments to a post Shona wrote a couple of weeks back, asking whether it is still practical in this day and age to “court” someone. Have a read and let me know what you think. 

First I would like to thank Mrs E for this opportunity. It’s a privilege I really appreciate. So, as the topic goes… Courtship and how I (we) have approached it. I guess I will have to tell a short story about me with respect to relationships so you can picture where I am coming from. I am the sort with more female friends than male folks. I perhaps feel comfortable sharing with the female folks than the male ones. I think that is justifiable since I am not gay right *laughs*. On that note, it appears I have this feminine side when it comes to relationships. I give it my entirety; my heart, my soul, my energy, my time - my everything! As you’d probably be guessing, I have been heartbroken a few times; not too many. When I meet a lady and I like her, the first person that often comes to mind to share with is my Dad. Most times, when I tell him about my feelings towards a lady, he is fond of saying, “Samuel, enjoy the friendship”. Sometimes I listen, most times I don’t. Thank God I grew to understand why he always said that to me.

Three years ago, I met my fiancé. A few months into the friendship, my feelings for her had started to develop. As usual, I told Dad about it and he didn’t hesitate to say it again, “Son, enjoy the friendship.” This time, I obeyed. I was enjoying the friendship and the friendship grew till we became close friends. While I had intentions of taking it further, I was waiting upon two things – one, God’s take on it and Dad’s special advice. While the former is what I’d never done before and didn’t know what to expect; the latter seem to me like one of those times I’d gone to Dad for such. I was not expecting him to say anything else than “Son, keep enjoying the friendship”. Amazingly, I heard from God about her and days after, Dad himself called me to confirm it. To cut the long story short, months after, she heard God herself and the relationship began. We really ‘enjoyed the friendship’ and I must say, that helped and is still helping us till date.

Considering the limitation of space, I’d share two main nuggets on courtship, the way we have approached ours.

1. The couple that prays together stays together: one thing we have always done even from the days of ‘enjoying the friendship’ till now is to ensure we have a day in the week to fast and pray. While it could be tough praying on the day we have chosen sometimes, due to the distance that currently separates us; we make sure we fix another time to ensure it is done. In the event we fail to do so, we ask for forgiveness. That’s how serious we take it.

2. We endeavour to share everything and anything: Communication, I believe is critical to the success of any relationship. We never fail to communicate daily – we share even the most trivial of things: from revelations and rhema from our quiet times and church services to lessons from books read in our private times and movies we see and so on. This, I notice creates an atmosphere of openness, where neither of us feels like the other is trying to hide something.

3. We have learnt to forgive as quickly as possible: As you know, in any relationship, misunderstandings are inevitable; however, in our case, one thing God has helped us with is that grace for a quick resolve. We don’t let it slip into the next day. The importance of this, I guess is that, the devil is always looking for a hole to pull couples apart and one of such holes is unsettled quarrels. The earlier misunderstandings are settled, the better for a relationship seeking to prosper.

4. None for one, all for all. Ever since we started our relationship, we took it upon us to ensure our parents are no longer addressed as ‘mine’ or ‘yours’. Her parents have become mine and mine hers. In fact, we refer to them as Daddy & Mummy A for hers and Daddy and Mummy E for mine. Instead of saying, your Dad or my Dad. The same goes for new things we buy, like books for example. It now bears both of our names… even gifts we give to our parents.

I shall stop at these nuggets. I hope you enjoyed reading. God bless you.