The video from Wednesday was very eye opening from me and gave me insight into how powerful we woman can be in building up our men or breaking them down.
I wrongly assumed that all a man needed was love, but I have learnt that a man needs craves respect a whole lot more. To know that his dreams are not going to shot down at the first instance. To know that the woman who stands beside him, will always be stood beside him and will always believe in him. It is a great comfort to a man, so much so that if you can do this for him, he will be willing to sacrifice anything for you.
When you meet a guy, what do you see?
Do you look at who he is today or look at what he will become?
Do you make judgements on what you see in the present or what the future will hold.
Do you believe in him when he's still a student trying to further himself, so that one day he can the best in his field or write him off because you're 'not on the same page'.
Do you stick with him when he appears to have no money, but he is being prudent so that he can lay the right financial foundation for your family or do you walk away because you want the 'nice' life now.
When he shares his vision and tells you his dreams, do you support and encourage or do you tut and say to yourself it will never happen.
Do you look at who he is today or look at what he will become?
Do you make judgements on what you see in the present or what the future will hold.
Do you believe in him when he's still a student trying to further himself, so that one day he can the best in his field or write him off because you're 'not on the same page'.
Do you stick with him when he appears to have no money, but he is being prudent so that he can lay the right financial foundation for your family or do you walk away because you want the 'nice' life now.
When he shares his vision and tells you his dreams, do you support and encourage or do you tut and say to yourself it will never happen.
Zechariah 4:10 tell us...
'Do not despise the days of small beginnings'.Boundless have a great article called 'Faith for the Man He'll Become'. Have a read. It will encourage you.
So how can we practically support the men in our lives?
- Allow him to lead.
- Affirm him in front of others
- Remind him {tell him} how much you believe in him, admire him and love him
- When he makes a mistake, don't tell him 'I told you so'. In the majority of instances, men know when they have made a mistake and don't need constant reminders about it, but want to forget it and move on, knowing that you have forgiven him
- Put him first in your life {after God}, in the decisions you make and the things that you do.
Any more? Would love to hear from some guys on this one too!
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ReplyDeleteRecently, I started to learn about marriage anew cos the people I now stay with are not my parents. I now see marriage in a different perspective. What you have written about is what I am learning. Respect is very much needed in marriage or else, its near crumble.. May God help our ladies. Yes, he is ur friend, your bestfriend and all...but he still deserves respect. God bless you Chichi.
ReplyDelete- LDP
@ Eyitemi. Thanks for your contribution. It is definitely not a female only reponse post.
ReplyDeletePlus it is always good to hear from someone who is on the 'front line' so to speak. Congratulations on being married for 10 years!
My email is fromnowtillido@yahoo.com if you want to get in touch with any further commentary. I would love to hear it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to give further insight on what is a very important subject for both men and women.
I still believe that respect is imporant but like you said, it shouldn't be one sided, likewise love.
I like this and I so agree with you on the respect thingy, men want our respect more than anything else.
ReplyDeleteI would add that a woman should'nt correct her man in public, wait until the two of you are alone or if its something that really cannot wait simply pull him aside but DO NOT do it in front of his friends or anyone else for that matter, doing the opposite can really hurt a man's ego.
@Anonymous - thanks for your comment, very valuable advice!
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