Is Perfection Stopping You From Achieving Your Goals?

“Perfection is the mother of procrastination” Michael Hyatt (Platform)

At job interviews whenever they would ask “what are your weaknesses?’ I would always say I am a perfectionist. I would smile inside because I always believed that perfectionism was one of those ‘positive’ weaknesses. I mean come on, it’s good to want things to be right, right?

Not always. My problem is that I will keep working at something even when it is already good enough, to the detriment of other things. I don’t know when, to say “Enough! This is as good as this can get…let’s move on. Or enough…this is the best possible option for this situation…move on”.

I am currently reading Platform by Michael Hyatt and in his book he spends time talking about setting goals, reviewing your goals daily and not allow perfectionism to make you a procrastinator, something I believe I have been doing. 

Presently I am working on a new project and whilst a lot of things have been completed, there are still certain things I need to be doing to move it forward. Are they difficult things? No. Have I done them yet? No.

What are my reasons…well I could give you a whole host, but are they reasons or excuses? The activities I am spending my time doing are not bad in themselves and will need to be done eventually but they are not bringing me closer to achieving my goal and there lies the problem.

Perfectionism can also stop you even starting a project or fulfilling a dream/goal because you fear that it won’t be good enough, or you’ll never be able to do it as good as ‘x’. Again this is something we should fight against and speak against that fear. God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear but of sound mind or as The Message puts it

“God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible” 2 Timothy 1:7.

The same mind-set works with other aspects of life. Waiting for the perfect man to come along. Waiting for the perfect time to get married? Waiting for the perfect time to have a family? Waiting for the perfect time to start your business or change career.  Let me tell you a secret about ‘perfect’…it doesn't exist.

If God has laid something on your heart, go for it. Take that step of faith and see where it leads, (I am talking to myself as well!). Put in the work and trust God.

Believe that He is walking alongside you and don’t allow ‘perfect’ to rob you of your success.

Is perfection stopping you from achieving your goals? Share below in comments.

p.s. thank you for sharing your ‘this time next year’ goals…I will be praying along!

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This time next year

This time last year we found out we were expecting a baby.

Fast forward 12 months and we have found ourselves enriched by this amazing 4 month old who has changed our lives way beyond we could have imagined. While it sounds a bit cliché, it's hard to imagine life without her.

In my old church we had this saying "this time next year" where by faith we would ask God for things believing that by this time next year we would have seen an answer.

Whether it was for a spouse, a job/qualification or a baby - 'this time next year' was a faith prayer and it was amazing to see how God answered and the testimonies people shared.

Back in 2008 my mum prayed a ‘this time next year’ prayer for me…for a husband {not that I wasn’t praying myself – but she did it publicly, at church, on my birthday}. Over the next twelve months God was kind and gracious and brought Afam and I to a place where by my next birthday we were engaged to be married. I am grateful for that prayer of faith.

Recently I was watching a Joyce Meyer teaching where she said we do not receive because we do not ask. Our motives need to be right but she said that often God is simply waiting for us to ask Him.

We have courage in God's presence, because we are sure that he hears us if we ask him for anything that is according to his will. He hears us whenever we ask him; and since we know this is true, we know also that he gives us what we ask from him. 1 John 5:14-15 (GNT)

Are you waiting on God for something? Have you asked Him?

What is your ‘this time next year'?

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Friday Finds: Helping single friends, Facebook loneliness + building trust

This week has been one of those weeks.

I’ve been extremely busy hence the lack of posts, however I do have some great finds that I came across this week.

1. Since getting married I have seen my friendships with my single friends change. Some have evolved positively whilst others have fizzled out. Often I wonder if there is anything more I can be doing for my single friends that will support and encourage them rather than patronise. How can married women help single women is a really interesting article, written by a single women which gives some very useful and practical tips on how to do this.

2. Trust is something which takes time to build but can be destroyed in an instant. Read here How to Build (or rebuild) trust.

3. Do you think the likes of Facebook and Twitter remove the need for people to converse less in person? Face to Face over at Boundless talks about how the increase in technology can contribute to loneliness. A recent study concluded that “The greater the proportion of face-to-face interactions, the less lonely you are,” and  “The greater the proportion of online interactions, the lonelier you are.” What do you think?

Finally, if you like ebooks and also like a bargain the annual simplify your family life sale is back.

You can purchase 35+ ebooks worth $375 for only $29 across the following topics:

Entrepreneurship and Blogging

Food and Cooking

Homemaking

Marriage and Relationships

Minimalism for families

Parenting and Kids

I have some of the books already {Tell Your Time by Amy @ Blogging with Amy, One Bite at a Time by Tsh @ Simple Mom and A Simple Marriage by Corey @ Simple Marriage } and have found them really good. The sale ends today so check it out if you’re interested. Thanks Aloted for letting me know!

Hope you enjoy these finds – have a wonderful weekend!

Friday Finds: Priorities, discipline + habits

This week I have three Friday Finds for you:

1. First up are two blog posts which challenged me about priorities as a mother:

Inconsistent by Joy over at Graceful Mama

It's Okay to Quit by Sarah Mae over at Stretching Into Blue

2. Second find is the new series started by Courtney over at Women Living Well on 5 weeks - 5 disciplines - 5 challenges. Over the next five weeks she will be covering the following areas: mind, body, spirit, work and time and hopes to encourage you to become more disciplined in these areas.  Discipline is the substance which distinguishes successful people from the norm and is something that the Lord has been challenging me on recently, so this series has come at a great time.

3. Finally Michael Hyatt wrote a post about How to break bad habits which speaks for itself. It is a good read with practical tips and links to other resources.

Enjoy and have a great weekend!

Hairspiration + Going Natural

Source: polishedandcurled.tumblr.com via Chichi on Pinterest

 

So last month I went in for the Big Chop (BC), were I got my hairdresser to cut off all of my relaxed bits and leave me with my natural hair. I had taken out my kinky twists and realised that I had more natural hair than relaxed and that this would be a good a time as any to restart the natural hair journey again.

This isn’t the first time I have done the BC. I did it once before when I was at university but ended up going back to relaxer, {see point 1 below} as I found it too difficult to manage. This time round, I am determined to learn how to take care of my natural hair. I also want to be confident in this, so that I can educate my daughter on how to look after her natural hair too.

So far I am enjoying my new hair journey, although it does require a bit more thought and time in the daily maintenance. However I am sure as time goes by I will get a lot quicker and comfortable with my routine.

Source: blkgirlsrock.tumblr.com via Chichi on Pinterest

 

If you’re thinking of going natural here are some tips:

1. Educate yourself and do your research. There is so much information available now that there are no excuses for not knowing what to do. The reason I ended up going back to the cremey crack after my last BC was that I didn’t know how to take care of my natural hair. There was little information around about how to take care of it, even visiting my local hairdresser, she didn’t know what to do either. In the end I went back to relaxed hair as it was ‘easier’.

2. Prepare yourself mentally. Natural hair is nothing like relaxed hair. My hair has a lot of shrinkage and is quite curly. It is not sleek like when I had relaxed hair and I look different with my natural hair (it accentuates my facial features more}. I prepared myself for this and try to make sure that I still look put together.

3. If you can’t bear to part with your long hair, transitioning is good. If you are used to having long hair and go in for the BC which results in very short hair, it can be quite a change emotionally so prepare yourself and transition slowly.

3. Don’t buy loads of new products as you may already have a lot of good stuff in your house. For example extra virgin olive oil, which I use on both my hair and my daughter’s hair, is readily available from our kitchen, as is honey which I use for pre-poos and the most important ingredient in maintaining hair moisture, our very own H2O, is available on tap (excuse the pun) for ‘free’.

This time round I am also trying to use as much natural products as possible and so am using lots of oils and shea butter {courtesy of one of my dear Ghanaian friends}. I still have regular moisturisers and butters but prefer my natural ingredients.

4. Don’t buy loads of expensive products either. Try and get a sample first to see if it works for you. What works for one might not work for you and you don’t want to waste your money. Right now I am loving Tresemme Naturals Moisture Conditioner. It’s like £4, is free from all the nasty stuff and my hair drinks it up.

5. Finally don’t compare your hair to others. Learn to love your hair and learn how to take care of it.

 

Useful Info:

Hair sites:

• Natural Hair Dictionary – link to meaning of terms over at Coco and Creme
• Mane and Chic
• Love Your Tresses – Good for those who are transitioning
• United Kinkdom
• Care for your hair
• Curly Nikki
• British Curlies

 

You Tubers – my favs

• Fusion of Cultures – Laila Jean who lives here in the UK who has amazing natural hair
• Br0nzeqt
• My Natural Sistas
• Naptural85
• SimplYounique – her hair journey is amazing! From BC with a tiny little afro to long flowing hair, which is all natural.
• Nikkimae2003 – remember the pic below…It was her hair they photoshopped onto Michelle Obama.

 

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