Out with the old…in with the new

If you ask me where 2011 went, I couldn’t possibly tell you. This year has just flown by.

2010 was a big year and I remember thinking back in January,  ‘I had no idea how this year will pan out’.

What will happen, what will change, who will be in our lives, what will we achieve, but you know what, God  has a way of working everything out and is always faithful.

I am thankful this year for my husband and the marriage that we have. It isn’t always easy but it’s encouraging to know that we are on the same page and want the same things for our marriage. We have worked hard this year to invest into our marriage as we want to build on our foundations so that when baby comes, whilst things will change, the foundation of who we are won’t.

In this second year of our marriage my love for him has grown and I have seen myself change and adapt to many new situations, become more accepting of things I cannot change.

Yes I still like to plan and make my endless lists, but ultimately I know that God is in control and He wants the best for us. God continues to bless our family in ways we couldn’t even imagine and we are truly thankful to have come through another year.

God has added to our family and in less than 3 weeks we will meet our dear little girl. I know I say it all the time, but I thank God for the strength He has given me throughout this pregnancy. From vlogs to posts, I have enjoyed sharing this pregnancy journey with you.

This year we also got more involved in our church family and have made some amazing friends. I can’t stress the importance of a good church home both for spiritual input and ongoing encouragement in your faith. They have been a great source of support for us this year and we appreciate and love them all.

To all my readers, new and old, thank you for supporting this blog during the past year. I appreciate all of your comments and emails as you follow me on this journey of life.

I pray that 2012 is a year of great things for you, full of answered prayers and fulfilled dreams.

Wishing you a blessed 2012.

Happy New Year!

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Term!

Dear Baby,

Congratulations on reaching 37 weeks today.

You are officially ‘full term’, although your due date is not for another 3 weeks.

Mummy is feeling slightly more uncomfortable but still loves every kick, jab and poke you give. I will so miss them when you’re on the outside.

Grandma is on her way and can’t wait to hold you. Daddy is so excited too.

We all eagerly await your arrival!

Lots of love, always.

Thoughts at 36 weeks

1. I must have been running on adrenaline the last couple of weeks. I honestly don't know where I found the energy to do things.

2. I foolishly thought finishing work would give me more time to do things, but I'm finding that I am tired all the time. My body is slowing down and even if I'm not actively doing anything, just the movements of the baby alone, exhaust me. It's a lot tougher to move about or even find a comfortable seating position and I can't stand for longer than 10/15 mins without feeling extreme backache. However it's not for much longer and it is good to know that she is still head down.

3. I spent last weekend washing all her clothes, blankets, bedding etc. Who knew that baby laundry would be so exciting and smell so good! Looking at all the items, as small as they are it's amazing to think that in a month or so, they will be worn and used. We've also sorted out the pram and car seat, so things are coming together nicely. I've picked up all the things needed for my hospital bag and will pack them all sometime this weekend.

4. Emotionally, while I am excited and looking forward to baby coming, I'm finding myself irritated by the smallest of things. If something is not right or in place, I get upset or angry. It's so frustrating and my poor husband is feeling the full brunt of it all. I'm assuming this is another pregnancy hormonal change, but I hope it goes away soon. I don't like being grumpy, especially at this time of year!

5. Getting out of the house is good. I spent the first part of the week away with hubs, which was good for a change of scenery and to get a bit of rest away from home. At home there is always something to be done, so being away helped me to relax and rest. It was also nice to order lots of room service and have someone else do the cooking for a change!

6. I enjoy finding baby bargains. This week we picked up the last few bits of baby things and I was able to price match a lot of things to get some good deals in store. #itsthelittlethings

7. Next Thursday she will be full term, which means she can arrive at any time. My thoughts: Please let us see the New Year!

8. My MIL has booked her flights and will be with us in 2.5 weeks. Can't wait for her to come. Yay for mothers and proper Naija food!

9. I have been listening to lots of Hillsong United lately. Loving the 'Tear Down the Walls' album. Hopefully baby will have heard the tracks enough times, that when I play it for her on the outside, she will recognise them :)

10. I am SO glad I beat the crowds and ordered all my groceries online (unlike last year). If you have never been to a supermarket in the run up to Christmas, you won't appreciate how amazing this is!

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve so from our family to yours - wishing you a wonderful Christmas!

35 and 35

Today marks 35 weeks of pregnancy with 35 days to go…a pretty cool pregnancy milestone don’t you think!

I finished work yesterday and was surprised about how emotional I felt about it.

I got into the office and my team had decorated my desk with ‘congratulations’ signs and confetti. I also had an ‘it’s a girl’ balloon hanging from my chair (which is just cut out of the picture). I work in an open plan office so if there was any doubt I was having a baby, there was no denying it now!

We had lunch planned at a local restaurant, however when we arrived they had already decided to give our table away as we arrived late. Slight bummer, but we ended up doing lunch in our work restaurant. To be honest, it was more about the people than the location, so it was still good.

I am so ready to leave, there is no doubting that, my body reminds me every morning, but actually saying goodbye to people, made it all very real and sad. It’s definitely the end of an era.

I know I’m going to do something far more important but let’s just say I was grateful for the coffee handover I had with a colleague which gave me the opportunity to leave the building before the tears started. 

To all my colleagues, thank you for all the well wishes and gifts and special thanks for making my last day fun and memorable.

Time to put my feet up…

You carry it well

That seems to be the most used phrase people say to me these days. I don’t know whether that is good or bad. At 34 weeks pregnant, I’m feeling bigger every day but I guess in comparison to others (which I know I shouldn’t do) I must still look small? Dunno, I blame it on my tall frame. The midwife measured me today and I’m still on track so that is all that matters.

This week sees me finish work (yay) and I have a team lunch planned which will be a nice end to the year. I’m thinking it’s also time to start getting ready for the Christmas and get out the tree and start decorating the place. I thinking this Christmas will be a quiet one, which I am totally up for. No fuss, just church in the morning, then a nice dinner in the afternoon, simple but perfect.

We’ve also started getting the final bits for baby. We’ve split our shopping into bitesize chunks, having done the first trip last week and the next one this weekend. Shopping in stores is not for, especially with Christmas crowds, but can I just say how much I love baby shopping! There is so much cute stuff out there and for girls especially it so adorable, I am having to control my urges to snap up everything in sight.

It’s funny how depending on your phase of life, you visit different aisles when you go to shops. Never before have I ventured into the baby section of stores, but now it’s the first places I visit.

The baby’s room is taking shape and next week I will begin washing everything. One of my mummy friends was like I didn’t need to, but it seems to be the general consensus to wash everything in non-bio soap powder before using on baby, so I will get that done.

It amazing to think that in 5 short weeks or so, she will here. Can’t wait to meet her!

Catch up with the latest pregnancy vlogs below.

 

Lists

Right now my life revolves around lists.

To do lists

To buy lists

People to call lists

Things to finish before I leave work lists

The list goes on.

I have recently found that if I don’t write something down I forget it. If an event is not in my diary it doesn’t exist.

Even when I am talking I often just lose my train of thought mid sentence. So strange and so not like me at all.

Apparently this is very common in pregnancy.

I'm wondering how soon after pregnancy things will return back to ‘normal’.

Showers of love

Saturday was my baby shower hosted by my wonderful friend, Mrs G. 

It was a lovely day and I got to see friends and family I hadn’t seen in a while.

We played games, ate great food, shared lots of advice and prayed over the little one.

There was lots of love in the room!

Baby E is so blessed already. I am so grateful for my community.

Mrs G, me,  my sis and Mrs O

Best bits of advice (I can remember!)

- don’t forget your husband and be sure to get him involved. Try and have time out for the two of you – which God willing we should be able to do as my MIL will be on hand to help

- don’t compare your baby to others, your child is unique

- it is not my responsibility to raise this child, in as much as God will help and provide us with all the tools needed to raise her as we should. Children are gift from God and we are merely caretakers.

- God gives you grace for every season

- don’t be a superwoman – yes the house is dirty, nobody will die – no mummy guilt!

- babies are more resilient than you think!

- use the community around you – many people will offer up their help – don’t be afraid to use it

A big thank you to all who came, we appreciate you!

* I am behind on my vlogs – life has been busy, but I promise to do an update this week!

Like to shop! Love to swap!

My dear friends Aloted and Ronke from FabXchange has launched an online swap shop, where you can post items you would like to swap such as clothes, bags, shoes, fashion accessories and books.

If you’ve ever been to a clothes swap party, it’s very similar but with FabXchange it can all be done from the comfort of your own home. If you have any item you would like to swap, you just list it in the forums (like ebay) and then see if anyone would like to swap it for something of theirs.

The site is open to UK and US users (more countries will be added on request) and is a good way to get your hands on items that may not be readily available in the UK and vice versa by swapping with someone overseas if you choose to. Equally you can find a new home for items you have but have never used.

Apart from sending the item to its new home the whole service is completely free! You can also request for items from other fashionistas and hopefully someone would have it!

So check out FabXchange today and get swapping!

Have a wonderful weekend – I will be back Monday with a baby shower recap!

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If I Should Have A Daughter

I came across this wonderful poem the other day written by American poet Sarah Kay.

Words for those of you who can’t watch the video:

If I should have a daughter, instead of Mom, she's gonna call me Point B, because that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me.

And I'm going to paint solar systems on the backs of her hands, so she has to learn the entire universe before she can say, "Oh, I know that like the back of my hand."

And she's going to learn that this life will hit you hard in the face, wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach.

But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

There is hurt here that cannot be fixed by Band-Aids or poetry.

So the first time she realizes that Wonder Woman isn't coming, I'll make sure she knows she doesn't have to wear the cape all by herself.

Because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal.

Believe me, I've tried. "And, baby," I'll tell her, don't keep your nose up in the air like that. I know that trick; I've done it a million times. You're just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house, so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else find the boy who lit the fire in the first place, to see if you can change him."

But I know she will anyway, so instead I'll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boots nearby, because there is no heartbreak that chocolate can't fix.

Okay, there's a few heartbreaks that chocolate can't fix.

But that's what the rain boots are for.

Because rain will wash away everything, if you let it.

I want her to look at the world through the underside of a glass-bottom boat, to look through a microscope at the galaxies that exist on the pinpoint of a human mind, because that's the way my mom taught me.

That there'll be days like this.

♫ There'll be days like this, my momma said. ♫

When you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises; when you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape; when your boots will fill with rain, and you'll be up to your knees in disappointment.

And those are the very days you have all the more reason to say thank you.

Because there's nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it's swept away.

You will put the wind in winsome, lose some.

You will put the star in starting over, and over.

And no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute, be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting, I am pretty damn naive.

But I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar.

It can crumble so easily, but don't be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it.

"Baby," I'll tell her, "remember, your mama is a worrier, and your papa is a warrior, and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more."

Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things.

And always apologize when you've done something wrong.

But don't you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining.

Your voice is small, but don't ever stop singing.

And when they finally hand you heartache, when they slip war and hatred under your door and offer you handouts on street-corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.

You can buy a book of this poem, B by Sarah Kay from Amazon, which would make a great Christmas gift for your sister, mother, friend or daughter.

Happy Wednesday!

Not long now

13 days. That's how many working days I have left before I finish up at work.

Time has gone so quickly and it's hard to believe that very soon work will no longer be on the brain.

Don't get me wrong I enjoy work and the people I work with but I am relishing the next twelve months where I will get to use my mind for other things and focus my attentions on new interests and goals.

You know all those things you wished you had the time to pursue? Well it's those things I hope I can get an opportunity to embrace.

My MIL is also going to be around for two months and because she does not live here in the UK, I am looking forward to spending quality time building our mother/daughter relationship.

Mainly this next year will be about becoming a mother and all that it entails. Living the life of a SAHM.

It will be an adjustment but one I am ready for. It's time.

Parentcraft Class

(Not my antenatal class)

On Saturday morning we woke up bright and early to attend our day of Parentcraft classes. For those outside the UK these are the antenatal classes provided to you by your hospital in the run up to your birth. They’re free and can either be attended over several evenings or in one large block. We decided that we would prefer to do a whole day session and we would also be able to get a tour of the delivery suite/rooms as well.

Having spoken to a couple of my mummy friends, we had a bit of an idea what to expect, although there were things I thought would happened which didn’t.

There were around 20 couples, all of whom were due within the next two months and the class was led by a lovely midwife. A mother of six herself, I really enjoyed her teaching style. She made the class very interesting and humorous, interjecting theory with real life examples.

The topics she covered were:

* stages of labour (got to watch a video along with it)

* what to bring to the hospital (the NHS doesn’t give you ANYTHING these days!)

* putting together a birth plan

* forms of pain relief

* hospital policy – dos & don’ts

* different types of births including induction & caesarean plus after effects

What she didn’t cover:

* breathing techniques

* breastfeeding

For me I found the session really useful because we were able to ask questions specific to ourselves and the hospital. Being an experienced midwife she didn’t pull any punches and was really practical and honest about what happens, which I appreciated.

We talked through all the different forms of pain relief and it confirmed my original thoughts around keeping labour as natural as possible. The plan for me is to use gas and air and not have an epidural.

At the hospital you have two options where to have your baby, the Delivery Suite or the Midwife Led Unit (MLU). I have opted for the MLU. The MLU is like having your baby in the comfort of your home but with the safety of a hospital environment and is less evasive.

Women for whom it is suitable will give birth in a low tech, midwife-led area, often requiring less pain relief, the unit specialises in normal (natural) childbirth in a relaxed and restful environment and caters for water births, breastfeeding and traditional methods of child birth/care.

As the class didn’t cover breastfeeding I have a separate session on this with a local breastfeeding specialist.

How many of you put together a birth plan – was it helpful when you went into labour?

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Just wanna say…

Whilst everyday I am thankful to God for all that he does, I will use this opportunity to acknowledge all He has done in my life and the life of my family this past year.

For our little bun in the oven to our new home.

For good health to good jobs.

For our friends and family to our church family.

For my marriage and wonderful husband.

For provision and guidance every step of the way.

Lord I say thank you.

And to my blog readers, thank you for following me on this journey!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind. Psalm 107:31

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31 weeks and waddling about

32 weeks is around the corner and it seems like overnight things have just changed. Had my antenatal appointment on Friday and after waiting an HOUR(!), got seen by the midwife who told me that the baby had turned head down but was not yet engaged.

I had sort of sensed this because recently had started to feel kicks up top and this hard lump at the top of my tummy, which as you can see from the pic below, is her booty!

Whilst this is good news for baby and delivery, it has caused me an immense amount of pain and discomfort this past weekend. From sitting down, to lying down to even walking around (hence the waddling), there has been this heavy pressure I have been feeling which is very uncomfortable and has brought me to tears on a few occasions. Now considering how gracious God has been to me throughout this pregnancy it has definitely been a change from the norm and potentially a sign of more things to come!!!

Speaking of antenatal appointments we have decided to transfer our care to the midwife at my local GP surgery. This was for a number of reasons. Not only will I see the same person each time round, the location is a lot closer to home and I’m hoping I won’t have the hour long waits I have experienced recently. In addition it will be this midwife who will come to visit us when the baby is born.

The reason we haven't been going to a local midwife from day one was that we didn’t like our previous GP practice. There were some serious service issues and we weren’t comfortable starting our antenatal care there. At the time we also knew that we would be moving in a couple of months and could potentially transfer to a local midwife then.

As it turns out the midwives at our new GP don’t work with the hospital where we are having the baby and won’t have access to all my records/results etc. However when I spoke to her on the phone, she said she can still see me, but if I need any referrals I will have to go back to the hospital, which I am fine with. Given that the appointments tend to last 15mins or so and sometimes you have to wait up to an hour to see the midwife at the hospital, it doesn’t seem worth it to travel all that way.

Recently hubby and I have started watching One Born Every Minute. We’re watching Season 2 and so far have found it to be a fascinating programme. It has been a real eye opener to the different births and situations people face and I am seriously toying with the idea of a water birth as it seems a great natural form of pain relief. My desire is to avoid having a epidural and we will enquire more about our options at our antenatal class next week.

Other than that with less than 8 weeks to go (eek!) baby is measuring well and my stats are good.

Next thing on my to do list…hospital bag. If you’ve got any great tips on what is good or not good to take, please let me know in the comments. I’m hoping to have it all ready to go in the next couple of weeks.

Love Objects

Objects of love and affection. They are various things, projects, people or places that evoke love, admiration, affection and conviction in people. It is these things that create excitement in their hearts. It is what develops their interests and their appetite. It is what they secretly desire to be or have. It is what consumes much of their time and attention.

It is the idol of the heart.

But once you touch this object of their love, you have touched them at a soft spot. If you attack that thing, they themselves become violently defensive: if you are a fan to that thing, you immediately woo them over.

Friendships are easily struck with those who hold that thing as their own love as well.

The above excerpt is taken from the book No More Two – God’s Principles for Marriage by Gbile Akanni. We are currently studying it as part of our couples time and have found it to be a real blessing to our marriage. Ironically both of us had read the book before we got married and now reading it again we are discovering things we didn’t see the first time round.

We are presently reading the chapter on the joining of mind and soul and Uncle Gbile says that in order to be successful in this area, we (husband and wife) need to know what our spouse love objects are. This is important because this is the thing which excites your spouse and where they will spend a fair amount of time.

For example, my husband loves watching football, I love to blog. In themselves they are separate activities, things we did before we got married and things we still enjoy. When we got married we had to learn to embrace each others love object, so that these activities could be part of each other’s world.

How is this done practically?

Well every now and then I will sit and watch a game with him. I also swear allegiance to the same football team and follow their ups and downs throughout the season. But sometimes I will let him watch a game and do something else and then catch up with afterwards, enquiring about what happened.

For me, my husband sometimes reads my blog posts before I hit the publish button and gives me his view. He also reads a lot of your comments and helps me when I draft responses to reader emails. This doesn’t happen all the time but he has a window into my world, as I to his.

Ultimately for our souls to join we need to find things we love together, so that we can spend quality time as a couple.

Clearly there are times when a person does not acknowledge the love object of their spouse and this could potentially lead the spouse to find someone who DOES share that same love object (but that is another post entirely).

Ultimately our primary love object is GOD and as Christians we are called to set our affections on things above and not things on the earth. By doing so this will drive the activities and pursuits that are of interest to you both of you.

Have you identified the love objects of your spouse?

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Family Christmas Card

On my 101 in 1001 days list, I have ‘design family Christmas Card’.

Now at the time of writing this goal I thought it would be a cool idea to have personalised Christmas cards to send to family and friends, so something different from the norm. Since this is my last Christmas year before my 1001 days ‘expire’ I want to see what I put together.

I know personalised holiday cards with family pictures are big in the States but are they in the UK? This Christmas it will most likely still just be the two of us and I’m not sure how comfortable I feel sending out Christmas cards with our faces on!

A picture of baby on the other hand, I wouldn’t mind so I’m thinking given the timing of her birth maybe we can send out Happy New Year/Birth Announcement cards instead?

Here is a cute holiday/announcement card via Pinterest:

Source: tinyprints.com via Chichi on Pinterest

 

Do you send personalised Christmas cards? What pictures do you use?

Yes I can

Source: modernparentsmessykids.com via Chichi on Pinterest

 

I have many dreams and goals.

Things that I want to achieve that have not yet happened.

Some days I believe I can achieve them and then other days there is this voice of doubt which discourages me and tells me I can’t. It is so frustrating.

One of my goals has always been to run my own business, which is a passion of mine. I believe in what I am doing and I know that I am good at it, but sometimes I don’t believe in myself and my abilities. 

Yesterday I was watching a sermon and realised that my whole mindset was wrong.

In life it is not about the I can’t but the fact that I can, because the Bible tells me that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. {Philippians 4:13}

Anytime I believe I can’t do something, that is the enemy feeding me lies. Trying to make me believe that things are not possible, I am not capable enough, I can’t do it. All lies.

But today I choose truth.

I choose to believe that with God’s help – I can and I will.

As I look to next year, I need to hold onto this verse. You should too.

Have a great weekend!

p.s. Cot arrived today – being the efficient parents we are, it’s now all beautifully set up in the nursery. I love looking at it and can’t wait for it to filled!

I’m in my 30s (baby weeks that is)!

So we have reached week 30 on this pregnancy journey! Only 10 more to go. Or 7 if she decides to come at full term. It’s starting to become more real that in two months or so we’re going to be parents!

At work things are strange as I am on wind down. Trying to finish reports, sort out files and generally get ready to handover. I’m starting to feel a bit like a spare part as the world moves on without me. I knew this time would come and quite honestly it is the right thing to be happening but it still feels strange.

Pregnancy wise I’m definitely feeling the effects of baby’s growth as I have this constant ache in my lower belly as my centre of gravity has shifted and while I’m still sleeping okay(ish), turning over in the middle of the night is getting harder. Other than that, I’m well.

All the time my thoughts now turn to will I be ready? Will I have everything I need in time? Will I know what to do? I have an idea what to expect but then again I don’t. I have never walked this path before.

Then I remember like with anything new in life you adjust and adapt.

I’m sure motherhood will be like that or at least I hope it will be.

7 Tips To Help You Sell Your Wedding Dress

So I finally sold my wedding dress (big cheers)!

It has taken a few months from when I first decided to sell it and I could have probably sold it sooner if I had put my mind to it. But it was only recently when we were unpacking in the new house that I thought to myself I really must do this and before the baby comes!

After trying a number of different sites, I finally sold her on eBay via auction, which I was originally reluctant to do given the temperamental outcome of auctions but in the end I was satisfied with the result.

If you’re thinking of selling your wedding dress, here are my seven tips to help you sell :

1. Decide on what is important to you and then get emotionally detached!

When I first decided to sell my dress, the return I got for it was important to me. While it could no longer be classed as a new dress, it had only been worn once and I wanted to recoup some of the cost of what I paid. However I think is why it took so long to sell. Given that the dress was still being sold new, the price I wanted for it was not realistic in the second hand market (I wanted 50% of what I paid, rather than 30%-40% which is the norm). So the second time round I lowered my expectations and took the view that sitting in my house it wasn’t earning me anything, so whatever I sold it for (within reason) I would be happy to accept.

Another reason why I think I was slow to sell the dress was that I was still emotionally attached to it. It holds a lot of positive memories for me and sometimes I would think, why am I selling it? However in the end dress or no dress, I will always have great memories of my wedding day with great pictures to boot, so having it hanging it my house for months on end was not really a good used of space.

2. Choose your preferred site

Like I mentioned earlier, I tried a number of different online sites to sell my dress. From general selling sites to sites dedicated to selling wedding dresses, all of which were unsuccessful. One site, Preloved, I did receive a number of enquiries but nothing ever went forward. In the end as my last attempt I decided to use the auction option on eBay. Benefits being that it would reach a wide audience and I could have the dress sold within a week.

There are lots of sites out there who will claim to sell your dress for a fee, but I was a bit dubious about them and wanted to do it myself. Whichever site you do choose remember to factor in any fees that you will have to pay when you sell it.

3. Write a detailed description

This is key not only because it will minimise the number of questions you will be asked but it will also help people make an informed decision on whether they wish to buy your dress. Having researched around, I realised that my original descriptions were quite basic and brides-to-be wanted a lot more information, especially around measurements etc.

This is a copy of my final advert:

I am selling my wedding dress.

Designer: Maggie Sottero

Name of dress: 'Harriet' {still available as part of her collection}

Size: 14 but due to bodice can fit 12/14. Bust - 41 inches Waist - 35 inches Hips - 43.5 inches (Important to mention)

Colour: Diamond White

Alterations: I am 5ft10 and had an extra 2 inches added to the length {wore 2" heels} and a bustle put in at the back. (Important to mention)

Has not been dry cleaned. (Important to mention)

Dress Description:It is a one-piece, strapless, A-line gown with corset closure. It features an asymmetrically draped A-line silhouette with Duchess Organza creating an airy lightness. Lovely embellished lace motifs decorate the bodice, skirt and train.

Fell in love with the dress when I saw it and got loads of comments on the day.  Reason for sale: Baby on the way and want to create space in our home. (Always good to include)

Open to reasonable offers.Feel free to ask any questions or request for more pictures. Happy for you to come and view the dress as well.

4. Take lots of pictures

Unless a person comes and views the dress before hand, they will be making their decision based on your description and pictures, which is why it is important to include as many pictures as possible from all angles. You don’t need to be a David Bailey, these are a mixture of camera and iPhone pics. (The picture at the top of this post is Instagram for iPhone!)

5. Investigate delivery options

At first I was dead set on ‘collection only’. I mean how was I going to be able to pack up this huge dress and post it anywhere. However when I started getting lots of questions from people asking whether I would post it, I realised that I was limiting my market by saying collection only.

So I took time to find a suitable box and gently folded the dress to fit into it and enquired about couriers. Surprisingly it was not as expensive as I thought. Given the size of the box, it would have made it quite expensive with Royal Mail but sites like Parcel to Go are great in finding a range of courier prices.

The person who won the dress did not live locally and the dress was sent to her by courier.

6. Promote your advert

Throughout the whole week of the auction I promoted the dress on my personal Facebook page and the blog Facebook page. I also tweeted about it and my friends re-tweeted it as well. Don’t know if it helped but it’s all promotion!

7. Respond to questions and queries promptly

This should be a given as you are talking to a prospective buyer. Equally with having a 7 day auction on eBay, I was on a timeline so the quicker I responded the better, so that they could decide if they want to bid or not.

If you have successfully sold your wedding dress do you have any additional advice that worked for you?

Who’s that girl?

A few weeks ago I was clearing through some old boxes and stumbled across some old CDs, in fact loads of them. Some of the CDs were labelled ‘Summer Mix 2003’ or ‘Holiday photos’ but others were blank. As I was in clear out mode and wanted to decide which to keep or throw out, I painstakingly went through them all to find out.

On some CDs I found ‘mixtapes’ that I had made back in the day, tracks of different songs, different artists and as I listened I couldn’t help notice how much my music taste has changed over the years. Music has a funny way of taking you back to a memory, a place, a moment and as I sat there reflecting, I found it hard to believe I am the same girl who made all those mixes years ago.

Even just going back five years, the things I was into,  the things I did or didn’t do or the things that occupied my thoughts and mind, I feel like my life has moved a thousand knots in a completely different direction and I don’t really recognised or relate to that girl anymore.

I guess it’s all part of growing up and maturing but if I could pinpoint anything that helped this transformation, I would credit two things: God and my husband.

Over the last few years my relationship with God has taken a new dimension. I trust and rely on Him more. I have seen Him do some many great things in my life, but He has also taught me many lessons, some more painful than others as He moulds me into the woman he wants me to be. My faith is strong and I look to Him for guidance in all aspects of my life.

Through God I met my husband who has also had a profound and positive impact on my life. Encouraging me to believe in myself, learn new skills, take new risks and be my daily mirror.

When you reflect back on your life, do you recognise the person from your past? Are you happy with the direction you’re moving in?

{Image source}

Happy Birthday to my one and only

Today is my dear husband’s birthday…

How time flies my love…

I don’t tell you enough but I admire you so much. You are a good man, who loves God, loves his family and works hard to ensure that we are taken care of. I thank God for your life and I am honoured to be called your wife. You make my life richer with each passing day and I love you so much. Our daughter will be blessed to have you as her daddy!

May God continue to upload you, bless you with good health and grant you wisdom as you lead our family.

May he also grant you the desires of your heart. 

We love you now and always…x

29 weeks

We had our latest antenatal appointment today and our midwife turned out to be one of the nicer ones. She did all the usual checks (which were fine) and then for the first time measured my belly. Now for those of you who have watched my recent pregnancy vlogs, size of baby was something that I was concerned about, since so many people keep telling me that I looked small for 7 months. Well today I got the confirmation that our baby is growing fine and that my size is on track.

She measured from pubic bone to fundus (top of the uterus) and the measurement was 29cm which it should be for 29 weeks. She said because I am tall my pregnancy belly will spread itself out and won’t necessarily stick out like on shorter people and that I have nothing to worry about. Yay!

She also felt the baby and told us she was in the breech position at the moment, but that it isn’t an issue at this point as she has weeks to turn into position.  She got us to feel my belly and told us this was the head or back etc. but we were a bit clueless to it all. The midwife said at this stage of pregnancy the baby still has lots of room to be moving around and summersaulting so her position could change all the time.

29 weeks marks when I can officially start maternity leave. While I enjoy work some days I wish I could stop working now, but then I remind myself its only 6 weeks to go. It’s going to be so weird (in a good way and providing baby comes on her due date) having a month or so to just chill and get ready when the time comes.

In other news we have bought our first piece of baby furniture! Enter the Eric cot from John Lewis. After researching around online, reading reviews and then seeing it person, we decided to go for a cot over a crib or a cot bed. I really wanted a white cot with a drop down side and adjustable mattress heights and this one fit the bill perfectly. The price was really good so we decided to get it and it will be delivered next week. We’ll hopefully put it together next weekend. So exciting!

One of my dear friends is throwing me a baby shower next month, which is going to be a lovely opportunity to catch up with friends and family I haven’t seen in a while. For ease we decided to set up our baby registry at John Lewis as their site was the easiest to navigate online. Walking around shops no longer does it for me, so it’s all about easy online access! I particularly like John Lewis as they have excellent customer service and they price match if you see the same item elsewhere cheaper.

Those of you expecting what was the first piece of baby gear you bought?

p.s. if you’re looking for ways to save money in the whole baby buying process, Baby Centre have a fantastic article Buying for baby on a budget.

Irreconcilable differences

That’s the reason Kim Kardashian has quoted on her divorce papers, 72 days after getting married.

While this news is not surprising it is still a sad situation. Any marriage that breaks down is sad news but this is a classic example of the way the world views marriage, ‘If it doesn’t work out, just walk away’.

The truth is marriage is a lifetime of reconcilable differences, you are two people coming together to become one. This life long process requires less of ‘I’ and more of ‘us’ and is hard work but has great reward. 

Whatever the reasons behind the breakdown of this union, I hope one day Kim is able to understand the true meaning of what marriage is all about.

Image {source}

Baby names and menus

Just popping in to say hi! Hope you had a wonderful weekend.

Ours was good but went far too quickly. I spent Sunday with a group of church mums and mums-to-be talking babies, pregnancy, labour and marriage. It was great to be able to ask questions and hear other people’s experiences about life on the other side! Hubs was doing the same with the dads in another location.

Can you believe it I’m now in the final trimester – woo! This is the final stretch and as each day passes I can’t wait to meet our little one. We’ve been praying about names and we’re pretty much there, but it remains top secret until she is born. We also just love sitting and watching her move around in my belly, which is a lot a the moment. As I commented on Facebook, watching your belly move on it own is both awesome and weird! But I love it!

Right now I definitely ‘feel’ pregnant. Backache is no joke and I find I can only sit down or stand up for short intervals of time and there is still 13 weeks to go! My body feels so heavy and I’m finding that I get a lot more exhausted which I expected would happen but it still takes adjusting to.

Home wise, I think I’ve finally found my routine. We now have a menu which we follow and it makes meal times so much easier. I know the best shops to go to for our food items and I’m also trying to make big meals at the weekend which we can eat in the week and for lunch at work, so this reduces the amount of nights I have to cook.  I’m so looking forward to next year where I will have the opportunity to be at home full time with baby and experiment more with my culinary skills (more ‘In my kitchen’ posts)  and crafty abilities (my sewing machine is on standby!) It will be a big change to life right now, but I am so ready for it.

I will also be updating the vlogs this week as well, so look out for weeks 26 and 27 very soon.

Have a great week ahead!

I will wait for you

I was sent this YouTube video link by a dear reader (thank you Oma).

I was blessed.

For you ladies waiting on God and waiting for your ‘One’, please watch this video and be blessed also.

Have a great week!

26 weeks and summer sun in autumn

So we had our 26 weeks appointment today, which went really well.

At our hospital you see a different midwife every time you go and sometimes can be a bit hit and miss, but today our midwife was lovely and answered all my pre-planned questions before I had a chance to ask them. All my stats are good and things are progressing as they should. I asked whether I would need to take the glucose intolerance test at 28 weeks and she said no and that it wasn’t compulsory, only if you were at risk – so that was good to hear. She gave me all the details to register for my antenatal classes, which I will do next week.

I’m so glad it’s Friday. It’s my favourite day of the week and a  chance to wind down, relax and look forward to two days off.

Apparently it’s going to be another hot weekend. Yay for summer sun in October!

Have a good one!

Who did you learn the most from?

The is so much information out there and so many avenues for you to learn and absorb information. It can be hard to decipher what is good and what is not.

From books to antenatal classes. From speaking to new mums or speaking to your own mum. Everyone has their own advice and way of doing things.

Whenever I get overwhelmed by the information overload,  I remind myself that women have been having babies for years, in many different environments and all has been well.

Women had babies before the internet was invented and before books were printed and their babies turned out just fine.

Sometimes on the job training is life’s best teacher.

Thoughts?

Daddy Time

On Sunday hubs felt baby kick for the first time. For me it’s a daily party down there, but it was nice to finally share the love!

I love being able to feel her movements and kicks. It’s that gentle reassurance that all is well and now we can feel it from the outside it’s extra nice!

Yesterday hubs went to a meeting at church specially for dads and dads to be. A couple of guys thought it would be a good idea for them to get together regularly to share their experiences of pregnancy, labour and parenthood. Pass on the knowledge so to speak. They recognised that there is a lot of support available for mums but not a lot for dads, so wanted to set something up.

Personally I think it’s a great idea and hubs thought so too. He said he learnt loads and found it really beneficial and practical.

There’s nothing like learning first hand from experience, with no sugar coating!

#anotherreasonwhyiloveourchurch

25 weeks and counting…third trimester we shall meet very soon!

Pinning for inspiration

So I have just discovered Pinterest and how I love thee.

For those who have never heard about it, Pinterest is like a virtual pinboard where you can go and bookmark images you see online to come back to at a later date. They can be pictures of anything; food you like, quotes you’ve seen, things that inspire you etc.

I am currently using it to get bedroom and nursery inspiration as well as innovative ways to organise our home.  It’s a great place to store images of things you like when you’re browsing sites.

To use Pinterest, you need an invite, which I would be happy to send to anyone who asks for one in the comment section below.

How lush is this nursery btw!

Source: s143.photobucket.com via Chichi on Pinterest

Reader Question: The costs of being a bridesmaid

It’s been a while since we’ve talked weddings on this blog but I thought I would take us back there following an email I received recently from a reader about bridesmaid dresses.

Hey Chichi,
Just wondered if you could help me out with something? A friend has asked me to be bridesmaid at her wedding taking place next year and I'm expected to pay £200 for dress+ accessories and the headtie and lace for her engagement ceremony. I'm good for the money so financially that isn't an issue but its still a lot of money especially considering my relationship with this person isn't a close one. In fact I use the term friend loosely here. The fact that I've been asked by her I should consider it an honour to be a part of the wedding but I keep asking myself why I should spend such an amount on someone I'm not close to and by the way this person is Nigerian and so you know a wedding gift will also be expected.

What would your advice be and what price range did your bridesmaids pay for your wedding?

I've always been under the notion that if someone wants you to be part of their bridal train they should at least pay 50% towards the dress, after all you wouldn't expect your wedding guests whom you invited to come and share your day with you to bring their own food.

But anyway what's your two cents on this?

Bridesmaid-to-be

Dear Bridesmaid-to-be,

Thanks for your email.

I personally think £200+ is a lot to pay especially if you’re saying you are not 'close' to this person. For people you care a lot about, money is not an issue, but as you have stated in your email, whilst you are honoured you use the term 'friend' loosely.

It really all depends on how much she means to you and whether you want to be her bridesmaid. If you feel the price is too much to pay, then my thoughts would be to politely decline her request or see if she is willing to contribute to the costs. My guess is, if she was in a position to contribute to costs she would have offered from the outset. Maybe if the style/design hasn't been confirmed you could suggest cheaper options e.g. tailor make the outfits, choose a colour and you all get your own dress. There are different options which are cheaper.

There is no set rule around who pays for what but from a bride's perspective I was conscious that I couldn't ask my friends and family to fork out loads for something they might only wear once. I wanted outfits they would comfortable in and would not break the bank. Hence why we went down the “buy fabric and use tailor” route.

For my bridesmaids the most they paid was around £65 which included the dress and accessories. I did not expect a gift from them even though some of them did kindly buy a gift, some even bought the aseobi as well. Bear in mind that 5/7 of my bridal train were family and the remainder best friends.

Hope this helps!

Bridesmaid-to-be response back…

When I was first told of the costs involved I did mention it were a lot of money but the bride-to be insisted she had been bridesmaid at a few weddings where she had had to pay £500.
The dress has already been chosen by her and I'm still deciding whether its something I see myself wearing again, it would've been nice to have had some input in choosing the dress since I'm asked to pay £110 for it, the rest of the money is towards accessories and gele+ lace which I haven't even seen.

I wouldn't mind being a bridesmaid but then again I would be just as happy as a guest at her wedding but I feel that by declining, she'll hold it against me which is not something I want. By asking her  to contribute to the costs I would see it as inconsiderate of me knowing full well that she has other expenses to cater to in regards to her wedding.

Like I said before, she didn't have to choose me as one of her bridesmaids but she did....*sigh*.....I dunno, guess I'll put this into prayer and seek God's wisdom in this.

Readers…what advice would you give?

Wise words

So the weekend was crazy busy but well worth it.

We had family over from Nigeria who came and blessed us with lots of words of marital wisdom. Being married for over 15 years they have seen a lot. The funny thing was that a lot of it was not new stuff but it served as a reminder to us both about what we need to be doing to make our marriage the best it can be.

Marriage is hard work, but hugely rewarding and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I often wonder what my life would be like without my husband and I am grateful to be a wife. I love my husband and thank God for his life everyday. We’re constantly learning new things about each other and better ways to relate to each other and while sometimes it can be a challenge the results are worth it. I pray for grace…daily.

One of my key takeaways from our conversations with them was around transparency in marriage and how without it you can never have true intimacy. Even little things like hiding the secret shopping trips (we all do it!) we should come clean about and not keep any secrets from our husbands, no matter how small.

They also talked about how you relate to your old family once you’re married and making sure that they see you both as one, not two separate people which is so important. One needs to ensure that your marriage union is respected by all.

We were both so blessed by their visit and can’t wait to see them again.

Also this weekend was our church weekend away and while we didn’t get to go to all of it, the bit we did go to reminded me of why I love our church. The theme for the weekend was about diversity and unity and our church really is just that. We are a body made up of all different nationalities and races, but a family united by Christ. From the day we arrived people have been so warm and welcoming.

We are blessed to have a great leadership team and I pray that God continues to direct them as our church moves forward. I really believe that if you say that you’re part of a church, you really need to be part of it and support it both through prayer, time and your finances and I really feel God calling me to give more of myself to my church.

On the pregnancy front, baby girl has been moving around as normal and all is going okay. We were at the mall yesterday and couldn’t believe how expensive baby clothes and shoes are, especially as they don’t wear them for long. The things were cute though but when you relate it to what you can get for the same price in adult wear, it does make you wonder!

Having had a busy weekend, I wouldn’t mind sleeping for a week. It’s not going to be possible but I will do my best to catch up over the coming days.

Hope your weekend was good.

Have a great week!

Old Wives Tales

So there are lots of things on the internet which ‘predict’ what sex of child you’re going to have. From symptoms to cravings depending on what you’re feeling or going through they claim to predict what you’re having. Hmm…

Well we had our scan on Friday…

Let’s just say they were all wrong…

Come January we will be meeting our little girl!

I’m so excited.

p.s. scan was perfect, all is well.

Bump watch

So I’ve become a once a week blogger.

Oh well, that’s all I can manage right about now.

I’m feeling good, apart from dealing with back ache, breathlessness and how to sit comfortably at work with an ever increasing bump.  In addition dropping things on the floor is no longer a good idea as it’s kind of  a mission to try and pick it up again.

I’m also learning how to give people the eye on a packed trains, so that they kindly donate their seat to me…however I am failing miserably. Need to start wearing my badge.

Sleep wise, I am looking to get a maternity pillow to help make my nights better, so any good value recommendations would be greatly appreciated as they are sooo expensive!

Our next scan is on Friday where we find out if we’re having a son or daughter…we can’t wait!

Hope you’re all having a great week.

20 weeks and 3 days…

{picture courtesy of Mr E}

xoxo

Halfway

Today marks the start of my favourite month AND halfway through pregnancy! Twenty weeks is here and I’m so happy to have made it to this milestone. Now as each week passes, we are getting  much closer to meeting our new addition!

I’ve always loved September, mainly for its change of season and how it signifies a fresh start. Back when I used to go to school, September marked a new school year, new challenges with fresh opportunity. Everything that happened the previous year forgotten with the slate wiped clean. Now that school is behind me, I still love September and take the same approach.

Summer is over, a new season around the corner and with less than 4 months before baby arrives, I’m going to try and savour the rest of the year before it passes me by.

Highlights of the first half:

- finding out I was pregnant and telling our family

- ultrasound at 12 weeks

- watching my husband bond with our baby

- feeling my first movements

Other pregnancy realisations:

- chocolate doesn’t taste so great any more

- sardine and jam sandwiches do though!

- I’m actually growing another human being inside of me and I love it

- I miss sleeping on my back

- people ask you the strangest things. (Case in point: ‘does it feel weird?’ – asked by a colleague last week)

Here’s to the next 20 weeks. Happy September!

All moved in…18 weeks

We moved house over the weekend. Yay!

It was stressful, but it was made easier by the fact that we had lots of lovely friends and family to help us do it. Made all the difference, I tell ya.

Seeing as I hate mess and clutter, I then spent the next two days trying to get the new place in order. I’m pleased to say that 80% of the house is unpacked and I will do the rest (mainly non-urgent stuff) over the next couple of weeks.

This week’s main highlight (other than moving) has been feeling the baby move a lot more. Last week I wasn’t so sure, but this week because of the sheer frequency of it, I know it’s the baby and I love it!

This Saturday Afam and I are speaking at a seminar about finding your spouse. We’re doing it alongside an older couple and are providing the ‘young person’ perspective. To prepare we thought a lot about the barriers to why people don’t get married and things you can be doing to prepare. A lot of it is real basic stuff and next week I will do a post on what we talked about in more detail.

Enjoy this week’s update!

17 weeks and feeling good!

So life has been busy.

In between the usual work, church and the general day to day, we have now started packing up our flat in preparation for our move at the weekend. I’m so excited and look forward to getting everything across and settling into our new home. God has really been good to us in how he orchestrated this move, finding the house, working everything out. Seriously if you’re about to embark on something big (or small) commit it to God and ask for His help, because what he delivers far outweighs whatever would could do ourselves!

Pregnancy is going well. I am feeling great most days now and starting to grow more. We reach the halfway mark on September 1st and will also get the opportunity to find out the sex at our next scan. Time is moving so quickly!

I was recently thinking about my circle of friends and realised that I know someone who is due to give birth every month from now until February 2012. God is good and I wish all my friends smooth deliveries.

Motherhood is definitely playing on my mind. What will life be like when the little one comes, how will our lives change, what sort of mother will I be, how will our marriage change?

So far, being pregnant has had a real positive effect on our marriage. Afam can’t wait to be a father and is 100% involved. He comes to all the appointments and has all these great pregnancy apps on his smartphone, which he uses to constantly update me on what the baby is doing or things I should be focusing on. It’s wonderful to have such a supportive and involved partner.

My week 17 update is below, feel free to check it out…

In the coming weeks I am looking to pick up a couple of parenting books and would appreciate some recommendations.

Have you read any good pregnancy/parenting books? Which ones would you recommend?