Me Husband. You Wife.
Haddassah blogged about the role of a husband on 'Before I did' and thought it would be great to share.
The role of a husband can be summed up in the 4 P's, Provider, Protector, Priest and Prophet.
Provider: Financially, physically.
Protector: Being the authority in home, emotionally and physically, protect your wife from your family members by covering her weaknesses and emphasising her strengths (and vice versa for wives)
Priest: Spiritual head, should set guidance and leadership for praise, worship and prayer. No staying at home while wife and kids go to church.
Prophet: Setting the vision for the home, a clear sense of direction. {It is important to have a general idea of where a man is going before you agree to marry him just in case you're not interested in his destination}.
I asked Mr E whether he agreed with this and say if a guy was 3 out of the 4, would he be failing as a husband? His response was yes.
That's deep! But I guess the role of a husband is not an easy one and not one to be entered into lightly.
I really like the list and it made me consider what my role as a wife should be. Surely if my husband is doing all these things then there is requirement on my side to do my part. Even if he isn't, that shouldn't stop me being a good wife and honouring God with my ministry.
So what does that look like? I believe there are three things which epitomises the role of a wife.
- To be submissive, essentially being respectful to him and honouring his role as the head of the home {Eph 5:22}
- To be his supporter and helper: You are his biggest cheerleader, inside and outside of the home
- To be a home-maker with or without children on the scene {Prov 14:1}
All of this done through unconditional love.
Now different people will view this list differently, so I ask the following questions:
- If you have a man who is all those four things: provider, protector, priest and prophet, do you agree that our role should be as described? If not what would you add/change?
- Should our side of the 'deal' be too hard to keep?
- What do you do when he isn't those things?
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I've seen that list before and I only agree with the last. That is a man is the head of the home. He does not need to provide, protect or lead spiritually. These are things a woman can do and sometimes do better than the man.
ReplyDeleteWhat are my own role(s) then? To be his help meet - plug his gaps(physically, financially, spiritually, etc), to be his partner, his lover, and his woman. It is not easy like none of us is perfect, but with LOVE (GOD), everything is possible.
Thank for sharing this.
I have always had a hard time with the submissive part. I look at my husband as my equal. We both make money, we both have goals, and we both need the others support. I don't see why one person needs to be submissive to the other. Maybe you can explain that a little more? :)
ReplyDeleteThis is the 21st century...all the roles you mentioned can be either the husband's of the wife's. I guess it depends on who is better at doing what.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your comments ladies.
ReplyDelete@ Becs and LucidLilith welcome to the blog.
@ Myne I definitely agree about filling the gaps. There are things Mr E does well, I don't and vice versa, but we can support each other because of it. I also agree about being his lover and woman. That is really important in marriage.
Becs, on your comment about submission. The whole submissive element is not about control or domination, but rather about working together as partners and following God's ideal for family.
In God's template of family, the man is the head of the home regardless and it doesn't make us weaker as the women, or mean we don't have a say in things. Quite the opposite. Marriage is a team effort, but there can only be one 'captain'.
I found this article which you might find useful: http://www.netbiblestudy.com/00_cartimages/whatdoessubmissionmean.pdf
Thanks for that article. It actually makes a little more sense now!
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful. I do agree with some of the guy's part but being the provider? ermm.. like you said marriage is a team effort. I'd also like to provide in some way no matter how little. I'd like to support him in every way. Being the spiritual head is also a very good thing but a woman can assist sometimes esp when he is tired to do the morning devotion.. It's all embodied in Team Work. Team Work will also help the woman to be submissive.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing